Woven Cognition

Well, I had just about the best weekend ever. Yes, I got my shift key fixed. Yay! I wonder how long it'll last. I'm really getting ready to break this shitty keyboard. Anyway.

I spent some of Friday cleaning off my TV and preparing for it to be shipped out so my new TV could be shipped in. Not much time at all was allocated to doing this on Friday. I spent more time on Saturday morning doing it. Then, my mom washed it off and screen cleaned it. She said I should go along to bring it back just in case I have a variety of televisions to choose from as my replacement. We wouldn't be leaving until after six. My dad had to make up work because he was sick a day this week.

It was kinda depressing getting rid of it. I liked my [then current] TV, but the HD didn't work and the volume/channel buttons were fucked up. It had to go. Besides, I'm getting a whole new TV for Christ's sake. Who the hell would pass that up? I took some pictures for posterity. And evidence. In case they try to screw us over.. or if the TV fell out of the trunk on the way there. Lmao.

I unhooked everything and we moved it out and my mom vacuumed behind it. Tha thing is a monster. When my dad moved it around so my mom could get to the back of it, it began crushing my entertainment center. Apparently it's supposed to weigh only 150. If that's the case, I weigh more than it does and I doubt that.

It was gonna be a pain in the ass bringing it downstairs, but we managed. Then we had to load it into the trunk of the car, which was a lot easier. We were all gonna go, so we left my uncle at home. He was alright by himself, thankfully. Haha. So was my dog. Usually, I have to stay at home and babysit or someone else has to.

Now, I was given the impression and expectation that my replacement TV would either be the exact same kind as my old one, maybe look different, be a more updated model, or maybe I'd get to choose from any kind of Panasonic TV, as that was the brand I had. When we got to Circuit City (which is in a new location and now looks like a gigantic bookstore from the outside) and went in after they wheeled my TV away, the guy told us that they no longer make tube TVs, which is what I had, and I would have to choose from the flat screen LCDs.  I did not complain with that! I mean, I like big ol' TVs, but I think flatscreen LCDs are the shit! The only thing that worried me and what I originally thought he said/meant was that because they don't make the same kind I had or that they just don't have any, that I'd have to settle for a smaller TV. I mean, the ones I got to choose from looked smaller in screen size because they're not so bulky and have a much smaller cabinet.

They were all widescreen, too. I wasn't limited to the ones that costed exactly the same as my old one, but if I got a more expensive TV, we'd have to pay the difference. It was a tough choice. I was wary and kinda bummed about the sizes of the TVs at first, but I was told the screen size was the same, just 32" wide and like I said before, the cabinet (area around the TV screen) is smaller, so it gives off that illusion. They had some wicked TVs there. I WISH I could have gotten one of those giant 58" inchers. If only I had $1500 more. My parents and brother helped me pick one out and I picked the one with the biggest and sharper screen with a nice look. What really sealed the deal was that this TV is normally $800, going for only $550. FUCK YES!! The thing was, the one on display was the only one they had of that one. The guy called elsewhere and found a brand new one in Appleton and we'd have to pay only $50 difference, but they closed at 10 and we'd never make it.

I had to make a choice between getting the one on display right now, or wait until tomorrow and get a brand spankin' new one for only $50 more. I was really gonna say "I want one now, so give me the display." But the "You'll thank me for this later" side of me told me to wait. And I did. I was pissed because I really wanted the TV tonight and now when I went home, I wouldn't be able to do anything since my TV was gone.

My mom offered to let me borrow a different TV until tomorrow and my brother offered to let me play Xbox 360 in his room. We even went to McDonald's afterward. I love my family. That made things a lot better. It sucked having to wait and have no TV for the night, but I was getting a fucking amazing TV for a crazy good deal. That pretty much made it worth it. That still made me happy nonetheless and I was still excited for it. Made me less upset. Then, we went to McD's for me and my bro and BK for my mom and dad and we went home.

I ended up buying a Magnavox flat screen LCD TV.  :D

I spent much of the night being with my family. I don't really do that much and I really should do it more. It was really nice and a lot of fun. Then my brother and I played some Halo 3 on Live and I went to bed.

To make things better, my mom and bro told me they were gonna go and get the TV after dropping off my dad at work. So, I would pretty much have it here before I woke up. But, they were just leaving when I woke up. It's all good, though, because I needed to clean up my entertainment center and my room. By the time I finished, they were home.

They brought back more food. Lawlz. So, I quick ate and we began setting it up. It was a lot more stressful and complicated than I thought it'd be. But thankfully, my brother knows his stuff when it comes to cords and shit. The screen is so fucking amazing.TV shows look amazing, video games are great, DVDs too.. and Xbox 360 HD.. OH MY GOD!!!! ORGASMIC!!!

I invited my family to watch some things to display the greatness of my new TV and it was a lot of fun and my TV didn't fail to deliver.

I went with my mom to go pick up my dad from work. We just talked about whatever and we talked about what happens in the afterlife and living forever.. Then I asked her if she supported me and my sexuality and she told me she does and that she loves me no matter what and she respects that I'm gay and doesn't question it. She only wants the best for me and hopes my brother and dad take the news well. I'm so glad she understands now. I'm truly thankful to have a great family.

After getting my dad, I got a milkshake. YAY MILKSHAKES!!

When I got home, we had dinner and I showed my dad my TV. It's pretty much like a new family member now. I tested out more things with it. My brother let me borrow his game, TimeShift and he showed it to me on my TV. It's so real looking, you'd think you're there!

We played Halo 3 again later, too. It's so crisp and clear, and FEAR.. WOW. You can actually tell what the HUD says. The ONLY gripe I have about the TV is that whenever you change channels, there's a big gawdy HUD that blocks things out for a couple seconds, but I figured out a way to get past it for the most part. Another thing I was worried about was the TV being smaller (not in screen size) was that I'd have to duck to see it. It's actually just fine the way it is. No need for a stand. It's not a projection, either. So, I can go anywhere and still see the screen perfectly. :D It really accentuates my room well. It's a perfect fit. Way better than my old TV. Although, I will miss my old one. I got to keep the remote from my old one at least. XD

Some people might find it lame or materialistic that my family and I were brought together because of a fancy TV, but if it works, go for it. Besides, fuck them if they don't like it. It's better than being brought together by something boring and lame. =P This weekend was the best I'd had in forever and I've been the happiest I had been in a long time, too. We all really needed this. Thanks.

Yay! I got Ashlee Simpson's new CD, Bittersweet World last night! The day it came out. I love all the tracks. It was kinda confusing getting it, though. My bro was gonna get it on his way home from work. There was confusion on the cover art, since there were so many different ones. And since it was from Wal-Mart, it was most likely gonna be edited. It didn't say "EDITED" on the price tag like it should. And it IS edited. Argh. I mean, I know Wal-Mart has all edited CDs.. but since it didn't say edited on there, I assumed there was no swearing in the lyrics and there's obvious swearing and censors.. so.. I'm gonna take it back. They HAVE to let me take it back. That's false advertisement. Woulda got it from Best Buy, but that's closed by the time my dad and brother get done with work. =/

Lmao. My mom and I spent like 45 minutes talking about Ashlee Simpson that night before they came home. It was fun. Lawl.

Ashlee did a really good job performing on Jay Leno the night before Bittersweet World was released. She has a hot new bass player, too. I'm gonna get on that today.

Also, my dad called the TV place and I'm getting a new TV! :d See, my TV is fucked up and my dad called about the warantee before it expired and the assholes said they'd come and fix it.. and when he called them, they said they had to order parts.. they didn't even come and check it out.. and they never came, anyway. Morons. So he just requested that Circuit City just replace it with a new one, and that's what I got! Wo0t! A 4 year old TV for a new one is a good deal, yo.

Since I HATE having to recall a week or more of events when I update, I'm going to update about Thursday, April 17th - Friday, April 18th 12:00AM - 5:14AM, 2008 RIGHT NOW!!

Well, the most I can say is Xbox Live Halo 3 and sleeping addict = me. Yeah. I went to bed about 24 hours later than I woke up the day before. I figured at 5 am, that since I was gonna meet Gaby on Live in a few hours, no point in sleeping. I'd just be tired that way. We played for only about an hour and she had to leave. We need to practice our Team Doublez. :P And I spell it with a 'z' because this one guy with a really hot voice spelled it like that and it'll probably heighten my chances of getting into his pants if I spell things just like he does. Despite the fact that I haven't talked to him since I added him. Oh, sigh.

Anyway.. I've become Mr. Popularity on Live.. probably because I actually avidly use it now. I got two friend requests today and one person accepted one I sent. I feel bad though, 'cause this guy I added wanted to talk to me on private chat, but I never accepted. I jut don't know what we'd talk about. I'd feel awkward. Maybe another time. I just told him I lost my mic. Plus, I was playing in a game. I don't want him hearing my violent rants. Haha.

I was playing Swords and I was sucking bad in the beginning, got better, sucked again after that and I was getting really frustrated so I just lost it and started kicking everyone's asses. It was awesome. Someone caught up and surpassedme, but then I just kicked it into overdrive and won. I was PISSED though, 'cause after that, I switched games for Halo 2 and little did I know that that'd cause me to lose all my recent unsaved videos. So that brilliant victory is gone. =[ But, I still have a record of it at least.

My brother wanted me to play Halo 2 on Live with him. But I had to redownload a bunch of maps first, and it wasn't cooperating, so I just gave up and told him I'd play tomorrow.

Oh, and there was this douchebag on Oddball who called everyone a dumbass for killing him when he didn't have the ball. He said you only kill the person with the ball. Uhm, asshole, if that were true, you wouldn't show up in RED. You show up in green if you're not supposed to kill the person and you'd lose a point. That's the object of the game. Retard. Oh, and he was doing the same thing he was preaching against. Fuckass. God, I love the Theater feature.

My uncle is driving everyone crazy. I REALLY wish he could move back home. I do not like him staying here. Nobody does. He's being really ungrateful and he blames us for what happened. He doesn't realize how hard my parents fought to get him here and he acts like this? Have a little gratitude. We cold have not done anything and let him get sent to some awful nursing home.

My parents went to the dentist's office and I crashed. I woke up periodically, but slept until about 8 pm. I had some dinner and my stomach started hurting bad. It felt sick when I first woke up, actually. So, I went back to sleep until 11:30 or so.

I showed my family some of those Chenbot videos. XD Those are great. "But first.." And then we saw some video from the premiere of Big Brother 1. It's been so long since I saw BB1. Everything is so different. Better now, though. For sure. It looks so primitive compared to the way it is now.

I downloaded those maps and I played some rounds of H2 with my brother and his friend. I played solo twice before they joined me. It's so much harder than Halo 3. And Halo 2 looks so much more primitive than Halo 3. In one of the later games, I came across this guy from the second game I played on Halo 2 alone. He started talking shit to me, but I ignored him. I sucked at that game, but I beat his stupid ass. Punk ass bitch. I wanna meet up with him again and chew him out. I looked at his Service Record and he SUCKS. HAHA! Moron.

Anyway, that's all for me. I dunno how to go about today.. I slept for like a thousand hours yesterday. Meh... I hate my sleep patterns..

Don't remember a lot from Thursday. Other than that I played with Gaby on Live and Michael was voted off AI. I was so mad about that! Oh, and I had trouble with brushes. Blah.Also, dealing with sleeping problems sucks.

My sleep schedule continued to plague me on Friday. I was about to go to sleep but then I had a head explosion and couldn't go back to sleep. Then, it started thundering and lightning outside. So, I just stayed awake for a long time. I finally went to bed around 2:30 after talking to Megan a couple times, MySpacin' and Eccoin' and breakfastin'.

I had a provocative dream involving one of my friends. It ended up being a wet dream in a weird way. It was bizarre, but erotic. I haven't had one of those in a really long time. Like, since I was 14. Lmao. I know you thought that was TMI. OH WELL!!! Then, I woke up late while Degrassi was on. Not much else of interest that day.

Last Saturday was warm and windy, this Saturday started off cold and snowy. Ugh. We have the most fucked up weather in Wisconsin. By the time I woke up, most of the snow had melted. Thank god! That night, I just decided to play Halo 3 on Xbox Live. I'm glad I did. It was a lot of fun. And really, the first time I actually avidly played it. Usually I play it sporadically and for like an hour at a time. I played from midnight to 4 am. I'm REALLY immersed in it, now. I even encountered this little asshole kid who talked shit to me. Lmao. He must've been younger than 12. He kept calling me a "disease" because of my gamertag. Ha. Whatever. I kicked his scrawny little ass and told him off afterwards. Bet he didn't see that coming. Looking at the video of the match, he just pussed around most of the game and went into hiding after I killed him. HAHA!! LOSER!!

I don't recall much of Sunday.. moving on.. I went to sleep EARLY on Sunday night/Monday morning at about 2 am. Then, I woke up suddenly at 6 am. Couldn't get back to slleep, and I was wide awake anyway, so I stayed up. Monday was strange. I felt fine for the first few hours, continued playing more of Halo. Which I had been doing every day since Saturday night. My mom wanted me to help with yard work, which I would have done, but I started feeling dizzy and had a headache. I think it's from lack of sleep and that I was up for a while by then. Then, my mom got a call from my dad saying the hood on the car flew back and broke the windshield when him and my bro were on their way to work. My dad accidentally didn't close it right when they were at the gas station. They're both alright. No injuries. The windshield needs to be replaced. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. The hood is all bent up, too.

I went to sleep after they came back home and slept for 5 hours. 3-8. Longer than I expected to. I felt bad, because it was such a nice day outside and I missed out on it. I also feel bad for not helping my mom outside, but I felt sick. I had an odd dream, in it I was at my house with my family and some guy came home with my brother. He was like some sort of lawyer. While he was here, three helicopters crashed in our yard. It wasn't a HUGE deal for some reason. To my family, it kinda was a mere disturbance, but no one else in the neighborhood seemed to notice. The copters were kinda small, too. There were people camped out in the backyard and we went out and talked to them and found out they were the reason the crashes happened and apparently there were seven building explosions in the news, they were also behind them. The man who came to our house was also involved. It ended there. It was so strange. I played it in my head afterwards and added more to it. It'd make a cool story or video game or movie..

It was so cool in my room when I woke up, the window was open and it was windy and the fan was blowing. I'm lame. I'm a sucker for nice weather, though. My dad randomly bought a new car. I watched After Dark on ShoToo and kept watching after it was over. There was this movie on after it called Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, which was kinda disturbing in some parts. It basically emulated popular urban legends. One part, this girl gets bitten by a spider and wakes up the next morning to see the bite on her cheek, she pops it, then spiders crawl out of the popped bite like crazy. Like millions of them. Then she bashes her head against the mirror and spiders pour out of her head. It was really disgusting. I fucking HATE spiders. At leas they're only myths. I think I played more Halo after that or something.. can't remember. Then, this movie called The Roost was on when I came back.. I saw the end of it. It was weird.

Slept for only a few hours because I was gonna meet Gaby on Live and my mom wanted me to wake her up at 8:30 so she could take my uncle to his doctor's appointment. Gaby and I had so much fun as usual. This time we actually playe with others in Big Team Slayer and Team Doubles. I normally only play Slayer on Rumble Pit. It was cool to branch out for once, and it's not so bad doing those other games I thought I'd suck at and wouldn't ike. I had Java Monster, an eclair torte and popcorn for breakfast. Lmao. I had been playing in ranked matches since Sunday or Monday and getting my skill level up mainly in Lone Wolves, so I continued with that on Tuesday.. I'm doing good in there. I usually get 2nd place or higher. I wanna get more wins, though.. not just 2nd place all the time.

I met some cool new people, no bratty kids. I sent three of them messages. One of them in particular, I wanted a response from and I had sent him the message while he was offline, and I noticed later that he was online, but did not respond to me, so I was kinda bummed about that. I was feeling sick again later. I think it was from lack of sleep once again. I think I get emotionally and mentally distraught when I'm sleep deprived. I slept until American Idol was 15 minutes over and felt a lot better. Watched AI, then BB9. I'm pissed I missed some of AI. I was pissed at myself again for missing out on a gorgeous day. It was warm and windy.. REALLY windy outside. I LOVE weather like that. The night was still stellar, so I went out and jumped on my trampoline that night. The moon was pretty much full and illuminated the sky. Perfect.

I avoided a potentially bad situation that night when I scratched my Rihanna CD really bad. I was freaking pissed. I tried rubbing it away, but wouldn't dissipate. The CD skipped, too. BAH!! So, I borrowed the DVD resurfacer and THANKFULLY it's good as new. It plays just fine now. Phew. Thank god for DVD doctors.. I was afraid it wouldn't work. I can still see the scratches, but it works nonetheless. I also noticed on Xbox Live's website, that I got a message back from one of the guys I talked to on Halo today. That was cool.

Woke up at 1 today (Wednesday) and went outside and enjoyed the amazing weather. Jumped on the trampoline for a while. It was still warm and windy. About 70 degrees today!I just chilled today.. didn't go on Live yet today. I also took a break from my daily workouts for a bit. I need to get back into that. I can't quit NOW.

Actually, I did go on Live for a minute today. I noticed I had 3 new messages. One of them was a friend request from the one guy I really wanted to hear back from and the other was a message from the third guy I talked to, plus the one from last night. I was happy about that! Surprised, too, because I didn't think he'd respond at all if he didn't respond right away. That rarely happens to me on MySpace. So, I was pretty tickled about that. XD

BB9 pissed me off. I'm so angry that Natalie got evicted! GRR!

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Happy Easter, everyone!

I've been having a great Easter. My parents went all out this year. I really wasn't expecting much but they got me Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed for the 360 as well as three Halo 3 replicas and a basket of candy. They got my brother some movies and some candy as well. It's awesome. So far I've only played Mass Effect, which is way cool. I was afraid I wouldn't like it. The same goes for any new game I haven't played before.

That kept me pretty occupied all day. Before that, though, I was watching Zoey 101. Lmao. There was nothing else on. And dare I say it,  I actually like it. I suppose sometimes if I just sit and watch a show, the show turns out to be alright.

The weather was all over the place today. It was cloudy, then it snowed, then it was sunny, then it was snowy while it was cloudy and sunny. It was blowing all around. It was pretty cool. Looked like dandruff flying  in the wind. Then it cleared up totally and it's still clear but it's dark out now.

Then I had dinner with my family, including my uncle. Usually my brother and I run food up to my uncle after holiday dinners, that's not the case this year.

I hope you all had a great Easter as well!

Alright, for those of  you who don't already know, last Wednesday was court again and... we won! I was ecstatic. All the guardianship was returned to us. My uncle is currently living here and some bitch has to check up on us each month but we could hopefully end that soon. The only reason he can't stay at his old place is because he needs a new trailer and he was deemed "incompetent" by his bastard backstabbing doctor. So, to counter that, we can get him another doctor.

I hate that i no longer have the guest bedroom haven to retreat to... but I'm glad we won and that my uncle is safe and here with us.
Drew came back on Friday, so we've been hanging out a lot. It's good to finally hang out with other people. My social life is non existent. That's no secret. He let me borrow Supernatural seasons 1 and 2 and I borrowed him seasons 2-4 of The OC. I barely got through half of the first season. Too much has happened this week and it deterred me from watching it. I started it on Tuesday.

Which is the same day I went on an Avril trip and started downloading most of "Let Go." That album's really good. I like a lot of her old stuff. She needs to return to that. I didn't mind "The Best Damn Thing" but it could've been way better. Tuesday is when my mom got the call from Julie (uncle's lawyer..) about how she anticipated how the trial would go.. she said it'd go well and it DID. As you already know. :D

I am PISSED that Matty got voted out of BB9 on Wednesday! I want James OUT. People like him really rattle my chains. Going off about how you stick to your word and then going back on it. You make yourself look incredibly retarded there. Backstabbing is more appreciated than hypocrisy in my book. Plus he acts like he's some valiant hero out to rid the BB house of evildoers.. aka people who lied to his face and didn't vote him back in. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Just be thankful you got back into the house. He acts like it's a crime for people to lie to him, yet he can do it to everyone else. Bah. It annoys me something fierce. James should be GONE. Matty should be IN. End of story.

On Thursday, not much happened. I randomly stumbled upon this parody of The OC called "The emOC." It was absolutely hysterical. It was so damn spot on which made it that much funnier. Then I hung out with my cousin and his friend and faced car trouble upon coming back. That was fun. This past week, my internet randomly stopped working at night. It's bullshit. Drew gave me one of his old computers. I just need to find a power socket for it.

All I did on Friday was obsess over South of Nowhere. SO PISSED THAT IT'S ENDING!

Today, some guy from AT&T was gonna come and fix the internet. I was expecting him to be here at like 8.. But what they meant was he was gonna be here any time from 8 to 5. My parents went Easter shopping and the dude showed up and stayed for a while, fixed the internet.. apparently it was interference and did something to somehow allow us to attain our upgrade from 1.5 MB to 3 MB today instead of Monday. It was originally supposed to happen between Wed and Fri, but that didn't happen. I didn't notice much of a difference and I didn't even have a signal most of the time, then my brother checked it out and said it was because the antennae is surrounded by cords and noted that my computer is fucking FULL of dust, so I unhooked everything and took my computer downstairs and we vacuumed it and cleaned it. Then I brought it back up and noticed a difference. I cleaned my room finally, too. I randomly decided to watch a playthrough of Night Trap. Good times.

My parents got home and then I ate and did things for Easter, cleaning, coloring eggs, etc. At this time, I'm juggling a million things. Lots of people called me and shit. I started to watch SNL, which was pretty great with the period pill commercial. Lmfao. But then I had to do other things and missed the rest of it. I taped it, though. I also saw part of MadTV with the Halo 3 spoof. XD

Man, this entry is taking way too long to finish. Alright. Happy Easter, everyone!

Let's see.. what's been going on in the life me me lately..

I left off on Saturday. Not a lot happened on Sunday. About the most exciting thing that happened was the lightning storm. It thundered and lightninged and rained like crazy. It was pretty cool. It's a nice change of pace from the usual snow and no snow. Most of the snow stayed on the ground, though. I love lightning storms. I'm just not too crazy about them when they're right on me. I prefer them in the distance. I think it's more fun looking straight ahead to watch lightning straight than having the look above. That tends to be dangerous.

Monday wasn't so great. My mom woke me up to tell me that my uncle passed out and was unresponsive. My parents rushed there right away. I was very worried but I went back to sleep after they left. My mom came back home and told me he was fine. Thank god. She told me that he said the respirator he was on made him feel weird, then he became unresponsive and the nurses tried to get him out of that state. He could hear them but couldn't respond, then he blacked out and randomly woke out of it later. Yeah, they sure are responsible caretakers. They're setting a lovely example of how to REALLY take care of people, unlike us who are "negligent" and "unfit." FUCK THEM. Since he's been there, he's fallen once and now this happened. While he was in our care, he's barely had any mishaps. Stupid fucks. Not to mention his "guardian" wouldn't answer any of her phones. My god, what a dumb bitch.

I borrowed Rock Band from my brother. It's a hell of a lot of fun. :D I'm pretty good at it and I'm only a beginner.  I didn't go to sleep again until around 11 am. I found that Richard has another MySpace floating around. One that's way more informative than his other one. So I was pretty thrilled about that. I slept until 6 pm. Lmao. Watched AI for the first time in a while. I hate when all my shows are on at the same time. We're low on VCRs so I can't tape my other shows. Even if I could, I'd be too lazy to ever watch them later. I'm such a retard like that. Luckily they have TV online. Bu really, same rules apply. Then I watched BB. I'm so glad Matty is off the block! I can't wait to see what the new twist is gonna be and what the alarm means. I just saw a commercial about it. They say something about Big Brother not letting the evicted houseguests leave and that that's just the beginning of it! Hope it's juicy!

Did I mention that the nice guy lawyer who interviewed me stabbed us in the back and is actually a gigantic douchebag? He says he believes my uncle is incompetent and should have an appointed guardian. Cocksucking bastard.

For the past few days, I've been serial adding people on MySpace again. I DO NOT do it to boost my friend count, I do it to make new friends. LUCKILY most of them added me back this time! Sweet. My luck is coming back to me. I thought it might have been my new, more optimistic profile and possible outlook and it may be the latter. As for the profile, I accidentally forgot to save that. But I since fixed it. Haha. I hope they actually talk to me. As for the ones who didn't add me, whatever to them. Ruuuuude.

I felt so tired come midnight. I just wanted to go to sleep. Even though I'd only been awake for six hours. I went to bed at about half past midnight.. fell asleep a little after 1.. and woke up at 4. Wow. Three hours. Woohoo. I hate that I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at night, yet during the day I can sleep for half of it. I tried going back to sleep but as always that was a bust. I just stayed awake and kept myself amused.

Lately I've been reminiscing about the good times I had not so long ago. Man, I remember how the end of August 2007 felt. I felt so free and happy. It was like the spell of high school broke and I realized finally that I am an amazing person and I am worthwhile. I became more confident and worked hard on bettering myself in more ways than one. I got to meet my cousin Donnie again. He was a lot of fun to be around. I hadn't seen him since I was 4 so I barely remembered him at all. Apparently I was crazy about him when I was younger. September was more of the same. With school going on without me, it forced me to think about that. I miss the good times I had in school. Especially senior year. I miss 8th hour study hall. I miss my friends, the times I had in school that were fun, of course the crushes. End of September Donnie came back. I was making a lot of new friends albeit online but still. I had my friends around me. I didn't feel lonely at all despite missing Richard like fucking crazy.

Everything felt new and exciting. I turned 19 and I had such a fantastic birthday. Many would consider a great 19th getting plastered with friends and getting laid but I had fun staying up until almost 6 AM; it still being dark out and the moon was directly above my head. It was gorgeous outside, there was a nice breeze. I jumped on the trampoline to celebrate my freedom. Because I could stay up that late and do that now. I didn't have to worry about going back to that oppressive school anymore or ever take orders from anybody again. I felt to alive. With fear of not having a birthday at all, waking up and knowing I'd have one was a lot more exciting. I just went to town with my mom and talked on the phone with friend while she got some gifts. Then later I celebrated my birthday with my family and even some extended family. Donnie left the next day and even that day was good. October remained a great month. I made more friends and even had a memorable Halloween.

End of October, beginning of November I came out of my graduate break early because my mom suggested to me this career path that she knew was right up my alley so I got right to work on that. December, kept working hard at it. I also continued to make friends on other venues. I forced myself to stay positive, even in the line of trouble. I was still able to breathe easy. It wasn't until December ended hat my ease went with it. And I refuse to let negative emotion take precedence of my life any longer.

I guess there are some golden moments in everyone's year. Mine for 2006 that I remember well was in December. I recall always wanting to go back to that month. It was flawless. But it seems like things are on an up hill climb for me. I just hope that's true and that I keep climbing.

I slept really well. Dawn looked amazing so I snapped some pictures. I'm always taking pictures of random things like skyscapes and when I win on Xbox Live. Lmao. I'm fairly certain I had some sort of eccentric dream before waking up, earlier than usual I might add, but I don't remember it. I had some sort of sexual fantasy when I woke up at 1, which is why I'm thinking I had a dirty dream prior which fueled that fantasy.

My mom "woke me up" and told me that some lawyer.. person.. dude.. guy had to interview me and my brother on the phone like NOW in relation to my uncle. He told her to tell me not to be worried, that he's not looking to find something wrong and that he's not a bad person and that he's not gonna exploit me or whatever. He needed to know if I wanted to be my uncle's power of attorney and some information about the housing situation. It'd only be a couple minutes but I still didn't wanna do it. She also told me I'd have to go with her and my brother to have an in-person interview with my uncle's actual lawyer on a later day. Ugh.

Well, we were waiting for everyone to be ready and then my mom called his office. We had to do this before my brother and dad left for work.. which was in like 20 mins at that point. Well.. he had since left for an appointment. His secretary didn't know when he'd be back. I was kinda relieved but at the same time not. I just wanted to get it over with. I hate stressors. I suggested he could interview me alone if he called later and he could interview my brother tomorrow so they could leave for work. He never called. I was gonna go back to sleep after that, but I figured I'd stay up in case he did call so I would be ready.

My mom and I were about to clean up a bit in case one of those fucking feds came to inspect our living conditions but we were about to have company. So I just went to my room and laid down and ended up falling asleep. That's when I had the more memorable dreams. I dreamt about meeting Megan for the millionth time.. and about a bunch of people getting in some sort of trouble. Can't really remember.

My mom woke me up with perch and then I proceeded to do online stuff and listen to music and watch videos until BB9 came on. It was an intense episode. Wow. I saw some of the things that went on on the live feeds/YouTube and BB blogs but they showed a bit more. It was crazy. I won't spoil it. Afterwards, I helped my mom with more cleaning.

I really can't wait until Ashlee Simpson's new CD!

I dunno how I let time get away from me like this. But whatever. Sunday wasn't spectacular. I just watched Big Brother and the Academy Awards. I'm so glad Juno won some awards and that Heath Ledger was honored. I also watched Cold Case, which is a good show. It's pretty moving.

Big Brother After Dark is so much fun to watch. That night, they had a strip show that pretty much turned into a living room orgy. Then they all went skinny dipping. Lmao. I wish I could have that much fun. While it was on, a strange car kept going past my house; what I saw was them going past my house from the right slowly, like they were gonna turn into the driveway. I thought they were my parents but they kept going. Then, they slowed down by my neighbor's driveway. So I thought it was them.. then the U-turned, slowed down my driveway.. kept going.. U-turned AGAIN.. went down the lane next to my house.. came back up.. then went to my next door neighbor's house.. stayed there a while, then left with my neighbor behind him. Suspicious much? Gotta  watch out for those fucking feds.

Earlier, I saw an ad for Gears of War 2 coming out in November which inspired me to pick up my copy of GoW which I got for Christmas 2006 and hadn't played pretty much since I got it (which was the same for FEAR and those Burger King games... pretty much all the games.. heh.) I played a little bit of the part I was currently at, kept dying and quit. I tried again later and kept at it. At first, I was thinking I wouldn't be interested in this game, but it was way cool and very interesting and kept me coming back for more. My brother went on Live and co-oped with me on some of the game. It was a lot of fun. I didn't think you could play 2 player on a campaign over Live.

The next day, I played a lot more. I breezed through that game. I love it when games are more like a downhill climb than an uphill one. When I say that, I mean that it's not IMPOSSIBLY hard to get through, not necessarily kindergarten level. Extremely hard and/or boring games just turn me off. My brother wanted me to try Rock Band with him. I'm not really into those kinda games, so I didn't wanna do it but I did anyway. Truth is, it was actually pretty fun! I think I will definitely play again soon! Later, he helped me with the final boss on GoW. Amazing game fo' sho'.

After that was done, I popped in the demo disc he got from Xbox magazine and played the main demo from the disc. It's a game called "Turning Point: Fall of Liberty," and it's about an alternate history if Winston Churchill had died when he got hit by the taxi in 1931 instead of survived, how different things would be. It results in the Nazis attacking New York City. It's rather profound but the game seems like it could be really entertaining from the short playable demo. I know it'll stir up controversy. The game was actually released here today ("today" being the 26th, not the 27th) in NA before anywhere else. Damn, I'm gonna have to add that to my suddenly ever growing list of games to buy.

This is just a forewarning that this is a pretty heavy entry and I lose my cool probably more than a dozen times, so if you don't like serious topics or the typed out version of me screaming angrily, you best avoid this entry.

My day started off well and by "started off," you'd think I meant that the first few hours were good but what I really mean is that only the first few minutes were decent. I woke up from a rather hot dream that I don't feel like talking about right now.

Well, a few minutes after I woke up, my mom and brother come in the driveway. I found it odd that my brother wasn't at work. I go downstairs and my mom is on the phone and my dad is also home. Strange. I thought maybe they took a random vacation day. A few minutes later, my mom comes to my room and tells me that my uncle was taken to the fucking mental health institute. WHAT. THE. FUCK?

This is most likely going to become a long entry. So if you don't give a shit, then I don't blame you, do something productive with your free time. Anyway. I remember the last time I was at my uncle's house, I heard about my neighbors being benevolent and bringing my uncle water and food or whatever. That had me feeling a bit skittish.

Let's backtrack a bit. My uncle lives in a trailer a few miles away. He's elderly and diabetic and he lives by himself. Everyone in my family goes up there periodically to bring him food, take care of the cats, refill his syringes, check up on him, making sure he's alright. My brother and dad often go shopping for him after work, and my mom does often as well. We go up there and bring him some dinner during the holidays. We go up there as often as every other day, and at least once a week. We call him and check up on him and we take really good care of him. He doesn't mind being alone, and he's not alone all the time as I have just pointed out.

As for me feeling suspicious about the neighbors being helpful? Well, it was around 14-16 years ago, I was about 4 or 5, we had a huge family of Samoyeds when we lived there. My mom absolutely adored this one she named "Blue," who was born with heterochromea, which meant he had one brown eye and one bright blue eye. I remember that dog so well. A few months later, my dogs kept getting picked off one by one. Someone was poisoning them. One night, Blue was found dead by my house and my mom flipped out. She was so upset. We called the police and had an investigation. They did an autopsy, but found nothing. My parents were absolutely certain it was the neighbors. We couldn't nab them because of lack of fucking evidence. I can't believe some fucker could be so horrendously twisted to do such a thing. We think it happened because the dogs sometimes ran out of the yard and into others' yards and barked at night. The poisonings happened in two waves. But the way our neighbors talked, we knew it was them.

My mom told me that those neighbors who had previously poisoned the dogs 14-16 years ago, and who was being so nice to my uncle, had been up there and found out there was no water and that the place was in shambles and called the fucking health department. The cops were there and they hauled him away in a cruiser. MY FUCKING GOD!! I can't fucking believe those cocksucking ASSHOLES! I can't even imagine what my uncle was thinking. He's not always in the right state of mind, he probably thought he was being arrested for something. He's now being held in a goddamn mental facility. A FUCKING NUT HOUSE. FOR WHAT!? HE'S NOT FUCKING INSANE!!

My brother and dad missed work because they were going to try and get him out, they told them that he's being held there for 72 hours and he's not allowed any contact with us. BULL FUCKING SHIT!

Do you wanna know how we found out about this? No proper authority came to our house and notified us about it. No. My uncle's neighbors (not the bad ones, these ones are helping us out..) came and tried to tell us. My mom didn't answer 'cause she had no idea who it was, but she saw who it was as they were leaving, so she thought something happened to my uncle. My brother and mom went up there to check and he was gone. One of the jerks who were up there left a note on the table. They went to the good neighbor's house and he told them what had happened. When they got home, my dad called the number on the note and found out more from them.

If they hadn't gone up there, we wouldn't even know that he had been taken away. I fucking hate those assholes. I'm so sure they believe they were "doing the right thing," too. That is what they'll say when they're confronted. They're the most malevolent sons of bitches. Fucking assholes. They've been wanting to rent land from my uncle, my mom tells me, and since it was rented out, they got pissed off and this is probably they're way of getting back at us. Now that my uncle's out of the way and he might have to move, they think they can have that land. FUCK THAT SHIT!!

This brings me to my next thing; the health people are probably going to condemn the place, meaning he'll no longer get to live there. So either he lives with us, or he'll have to go to a nursing home. We'd never let him go to a nursing home where he'd be mistreated and they'd suck his money dry and force us to lose the land. They also won't let him put a new trailer on the land because it's against some fucked up ordinance. SINCE WHEN IS IT ANYONE'S MOTHERFUCKING BUSINESS WHAT ANYONE ELSE PUTS ON THEIR LAND!?

This means that we'll probably lose the trailer either way. I don't care if the place is a fucking dump. I fucking grew up there. It's where I spent the first eight years of my life. Every motherfucking time I go up there I'm caught up in memories and now it's all going to be lost because some STUPID FUCKING CUNT CAN'T MIND THEIR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? Who do they think they are trespassing onto property that they have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT being on in the first place and fucking tattling to the authorities about it!?

Later, my mom called my aunt and talked to her about it, my aunt then called the sheriff's department to get answers. She found out that he's literally in a mental institution, in non-PC terms: a crazy house. HE DOESN'T BELONG THERE!! She also got info from a cop that he's not the reason he's in there. He's in there because of a "complaint" and because the house is "unlivable." First of all, WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE ASS BACKWARDS COCKSUCKING NEIGHBORS TO FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S LIVING CONDITIONS!? IT'S NOT DETRIMENTAL TO THEM!! MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS! HE DOESN'T MIND LIVING THAT WAY! LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE! My mom has power of attorney or something like that that is supposed to override their ban on us communicating with him, but apparently that doesn't matter. Uhm. WHAT!?

On the plus side, if they want to accuse us of abusing us or neglecting him, we have more than enough people who can testify that we in fact have taken good care of him. Everything was just fine, just fucking fine, and these dirty pricks come in and stir up trouble. And that is EXACTLY what they were trying to do. If they were really trying to help, they would have come to US.

I keep saying we should nail them on the counts of TRESPASSING. They have NO RIGHT to be there whatsofuckingever. My uncle is 82 years old and he has lived there his whole life and they have the nerve to just rip him out of there and haul him off in a patrol car like he's some criminal? WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING!? THAT'S FUCKING WRONG. You don't do that to an old man. He has no fucking idea what they're doing. You don't force him out of his home when he's lived there all those years and he's that old. Just let him be and let him live where the fuck he wants.

More than a few times today I was taken back to when my dogs were poisoned and died all those years ago. It was fucking horrible. And the worst part is, those bastards got away with it. I remember one time I'd come across another dead dog. His eyes were open and he looked like he was fucking alive. I'll never forget that. It makes me sick and livid at the same time.

My uncle has 12+ cats up there and I'm worried about their safety. Those shitheads better leave those cats alone. If one is dead, missing, or if so much as a hair is missing from one of them, I will hold them responsible and I will go after them myself. I was especially worried after remembering what they had done to my dogs.

I am so fucking sick of one thing after another happening to my family, and all of it being bad, NEVER GOOD. Those fucking assholes. How dare they do that. I hope the ABSOLUTE WORSE POSSIBLE THING befalls those people. I would not shed a single tear, lose any sleep or feel so much as a twinge of remorse. I am sick to my stomach of horrible human beings getting away with doing shitty things to people who don't deserve it. I am begging the universe to PLEASE GIVE THESE WORTHLESS CUNTS WHAT THEY DESERVE!! Please let justice be served! Make them feel the pain and trouble they've caused us and probably other people. What the fuck did we do to them or anyone to deserve this bullshit? I hope they suffer for what they've done. And I don't give a rat's ass if that makes me a cruel person. I want justice. I'm not cruel, they are. AND SO HELP ME GOD if I EVER get the chance to get payback on them, I WILL TAKE IT and I WILL make them the sorriest sons of bitches in the fucking world.

I am not one to ever wish anything this bad on anyone but this is serious. What they did is twisted, sick, unforgivable, dispicable and full of contempt.

I'm probably forgetting some details.. but if I remember I'll post them up on this entry. If you read all of this.. thank you.

Jesus H. Christ! I want to be able to fucking see on my goddamn computer! UGGGHHH!!! X_X My mom has been looking it up online for a while now. She says she might have found a few solutions. Let's hope they work.

Donnie went home today. We all woke up early, around 1 in the afternoon to say goodbye. I was a bit cranky because I was tired. Really only to my mom. I apologized for that. I really wish I wasn't such a dick.

I finished off the remaining episodes of The OC. Sigh. I'm bummed now because I'm officially permanently OCless. Maybe I should rewatch again from the beginning. But maybe not. Maybe I should put them away for a long time and watch them again in a few years. If I watch and rewatch the series over and over again, I'll become too used to it and I'll get tired of it. If I wait a while until the next time, it'll be like new again.

Big Brother 9 premiered tonight!! It was really good. I liked it. And After Dark came back with it, too. My mom and I watched it. The gay guys are relatively attractive and some others. The twist is pretty cool. By the time After Dark came on, one couple was already evicted. What's up with that? That annoys me. There has to be another twist, 'cause if they plan on evicting in twos, then the show will be done in eight weeks and it's supposed to run for three months. Hmm.

It feels empty in the house the day Donnie leaves. It's kind of a relief to go back to normal but when he's here, we're all usually in a better mood and fight less. He distracts us from the shitty lives we have and when he's gone it's back to being morose.

I am in desperate need of a male. Man, I need someone like crazy. I'm almost 20 and I never had a boyfriend. Ever. Never even touched one.. like that. Right now, I don't even care if I'm "with" a guy who I can call my boyfriend. Even if it's a one night stand or a hook up. I don't care. I just need some sort of male attention/affection.

Doesn't it seem like all I ever update about is how I sit on my ass playing Xbox Live and watching The OC? Well hey, until I start my career as a computer graphic artist, this is one of the last chances I get to be lazy all the time. Sue me. It's entertaining to me.

Yesterday, I did more than that. My entire family, including Donnie, went out to eat. First time I did that in like years. It was a lot of fun. The restaurant was pretty much vacant due to the extreme cold and drifting. It was about 30-40 degrees below zero. It was really nice. I've learned that being with my family isn't always a lame affair and most of the time, dare I say it, is actually pleasant.

After that, I did my usual impenetrable combo of Xbox Live and The OC. Later on, I played a game of Yahtzee with my mom and Donnie, didn't win. Haha. Mainly because I was so tired. But I did pretty well for not having played in like eight years. Dakota, my husky, ripped part of my brother's Samantha Fox poster since he was in the basement due to the cold. He wasn't happy to hear about that today. My mom's getting him a new one from eBay. What would we do without online auctions? More dog drama. When my mom took him back outside, he almost got away. Luckily, he came back to her.

I spent today being my lazy self once again. FEAR freezes on me sometimes. It's only happened twice recently, but it still annoys me. I'm getting close to the end. I truly underestimated that game. I'm also coming to the end of The OC. Sigh. The show ended twice for me. At the end of season three and four. The show is just so different in the fourth season than it was in the previous three. At first glance, I wish the series was still going on but then I realize it was about time for the show to end. Some good shows don't know when to quit and they go on far past its expiration date and then people can't wait for it to be over. I didn't want that to happen to The OC. By the way, I'd totally tap Kaitlin's tennis instructor. DAMN!

Today is Donnie's last full day in Wisconsin. He was gone gambling most of the day with his sister. Ten days seemed pretty daunting at first but now it seems like they flew by and were over before I was ready. Then I remember he came on the day of the Super Bowl and it seems like a long ass time ago. Does that ever happen to you? Two events that happen on the same day, one seems like it happened forever ago and the other seems like it happened a few seconds ago? Or maybe one thing happened recently, and another happened long ago, but it feels like the opposite? Happens to me all the time. I got to spend a lot of time with him, so I'm glad about that. Plus, he'll be back again soon enough. Either in a few months or in July.

Big Brother 9 starts tomorrow!! Well, technically later today but it's still Monday to me. LG15 season three started today, but I didn't watch. Because I CAN'T. Didn't get to watch the Community week shit, either. I'm not so bummed. Didn't seem that interesting to begin with.

Well, I'm gonna go. Seeing as how my last entries were about 120 pages long and I haven't received comments kinda tells me I'm a bit wordy and that no one cares to read about my boring drivel. Sorry about not commenting/reading about you guys recently. Believe me, if I could, I would. Before I forget. We think it's the video card, so we're getting new ones soon. Alright. later.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Except I'm not exactly having the time of my life, but I've experienced worse.

I spent some time with Donnie since my last entry. I was worried that my sleep schedule and lack of any positive emotion in my life right now would get in the way of that but it's not.

Thursday was pretty ordinary. Xbox Live, The OC, trying to see shit on the computer and failing miserably. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown at the end of the day but I'm fine now.

Friday was definitely a step up. When I woke up, I had the house completely to myself. Donnie was with some friends, my brother was at work, my mom and dad were in town trying to exchange Rock Band, since the bass pedal broke. I didn't throw a huge party while they were gone. Please. Ever since the college epidemic swept the class of '07, I've been left as the only 19 year old in a 5 mile radius. Congrats to me for being the oldest teen of my town. It's not even about that. Being home alone is fun and allows me to feel free.

All I did was play on Live and talked to friends. I'm a Live addict. I won't lie. Recently, probably as of Wednesday or Tuesday to be exact, I've been playing the normal Campaign of F.E.A.R. I remember I only played so far and not long after I got the game, I quit for a while.

Now, it's what I play most often on Live, which I need to stop. I've been ignoring all my other games and my friends are disappointed. I feel bad. =[ Not just for them, but I'm also missing out on the action and fun. Did I mention I beat Ecco? Hard ass game. I never beat it in one try. I always used passwords. Not this time. Really only because that feature was retconned from this version. I'm proud of myself nonetheless!

I was in a deathmatch with two other dweebs on FEAR and I was totally kicking their ass and they both left the game. Pussies. What the fuck? The one time I'm owning people and they punk out. Well, whatever. I stayed until the end and claimed my victory. Even if it was a solid 12 minutes. They both left by 8 minutes in. I wanted to claim my victory, dammit. And claim it I did.

Megan and Jacob kept calling me at a ridiculous hour. Apparently Sheldon hadn't come home from his date yet, so they figured he was staying at his house. We three-way called Strommen and they left a long message on his voice mail. It was hilarious.

Today, I had the house to myself for the most part, too. Donnie was out, parents went to town, my brother was asleep. I played games. Fun fun. My parents went to town for my uncle and to pick up season four of The OC. I officially have the entire series! Wo0t! When they got back, my brother and I ran to my uncle's to drop off the groceries, fill syringes and feed the cats, etc.

I had NO idea how fucking cold it was here! When I went outside when we were about to leave, it was like a white hurricane out there. It was worse at my uncle's house. The roads near there were pretty much drifted over completely. It was crazy, but it was cool. I love that kind of weather. Just as long as we stay safe. It was really clear out too, which I guess is why we were having that kind of weather to begin with.

There's a new cat up there, he's white and orange and is really big, he's a loud whiner, but really friendly. Haha. I want some of them.

We made it back and we had brother bonding on the ride. We talked about getting stoned, so when I got back, I toked up some. I'm gonna try it again. Try not to get paranoid. So I'm gonna take it slow. Lame, I know, but I can't help it. So I played some more FEAR. I'm getting really far in that game. Got a lot of achievements. Then, I finished off season three of The OC and started on season four. Oh, Marissa. *sigh*

My brother had this game, Dead Rising, that he says he didn't really care for and was going to sell it. Well, before I knew that, I played it and I actually liked it. Hard as a bitch, but I liked it. Initially, he wasn't going to give it to me. But my mom and I talked him into it. Maybe my letting him have the Conker game that I bought and didn't care for without making him pay for it helped him change his mind. Either way, I'm happy.

Donnie still isn't back yet. But there's probably nothing to worry about, the roads are pretty bad and the drifting and winds are pretty violent, so he's probably staying with his friend.

4 am. I should probably get to sleep or something. Bah.

I'm technically not back yet. My computer is still a piece of shit. I can barely read what I'm typing, so here we go. I'm only doing this because if I were to wait a couple decades down the road when I finally get this invalid fixed, I don't have to make a ten thousand page update and wrack my brain trying to remember what I did and when. I have OCD like that.

Ever since I got Live, my sleep schedule has changed from normal for other people ; in bed at around 10 - 12, to normal for me; in bed any time after 5 AM. That's not necessarily good. I hate waking up in the middle of the day, a few hours from sunset. Although with the way the weather's been going, I haven't seen the sun in weeks, anyway. Above that, I feel extremely lethargic. My body aches, my head hurts, I feel sick.

But hey, Live is pretty wicked. Which is what I've been doing to kill boredom that being on a working computer usually takes care of, but mostly watching season three of The OC. That covers most of what happened on Monday. I'm improving a lot on my Street Fighter skills, mosly for Live. Competing against other real live people, often ninjas and savants, is a far different story than fighting against the computer. People have the margin for improvement and growth, whereas the margin for a computer is previously set. The story stays the same about me improving for other games, too. I'm getting pretty far in Ecco. I just love classic games. Many times I'd rather play the classics than the new ones.

Ecco is a hard bitch ass game. No wonder I barely got anywhere when I first played it when I was like five. Not to mention traumatizing. Especially to those with arachnophobia. No spiders, but plenty of Octopi and sea spiders. *shudder*

On Live, you have a Rep, which is a representation of your reputation on there. It's calculated in five stars. Everytime you play a game and/or someone marks you as a preferred player, your rep goes up. It fills up a star a little bit at a time. I believe I started off with three stars when I began. Well, I'm close to a full five, so I checked my Rep and yesterday, it said I had 100% positive rating. Well, this time I checked it said I had a 66% preferred rating, and 34% avoided me. I was floored. I didn't get it. I did nothing wrong to anybody. I was nice, didn't cheat. Hell, I even sucked at it compared to those people. What the fuck? What I also didn't understand was why my rating was higher than before if people were setting me as 'avoid'. Another thing is that if you give people a bad rating/avoid them, you have to give a reason. And you have a details section in your rep breakdown, and it gives you a percentage of what people who chose to avoid you gave a reason as to why they did that. You can choose from six reasons, and all mine read 0%. So, I'm completely confused. I thought it was a glitch or a mistake. But it's still like that, and I turned it off and on.

My guess is that maybe someone can choose to avoid you without lowering your Rep. I don't know for sure. I gave one person a bad Rep for talking shit, being an asshole and a bad sport. It says in the help that it 'may or may not affect your rep' if you avoid someone. I can understand separating the two entities, though. I just don't remember having that option. Maybe the next time I play with some douche, I'll pay more attention when I send him a bad rep.

On Tuesday, my mom found a way to secure me a copy of season four of The OC, since it was highly doubtful I'd be able to run and get it before the week was done. She bought it online at Best Buy and it's ready and reserved for me for eight days. I'll be getting it on Saturday. So, I'll probably have it before I'm finished with season three. I'm on disc 4/7.

That's what I did most of the day on Tuesday, too. I'm hella lazy. Just been feeling like shit, you know? Drew called and we talked for like two hours. Unfortunately, I shouldn't do that. That's the reason I got my phone turned off. Using it too much outside of free hours. I only have like less than 220 minutes left. I also watched American Idol and One Tree Hill. OTH is still good, but it's dramatically different from all the seasons. I'm assuming it's different from season four, too. Since I never saw season four. It just seems really toned down and too different. It just jumped into a whole new realm without anyone being able to get used to it.

That night, Megan and I talked for three hours. Longest phone call we had in forever. I'm glad we're able to do that. It's fun being able to talk about stuff and how things were back when we met. All the people we were friends with and who were around back then. That a lot of our friends and the people who we saw consider that one of the best times of their life. And now it's all gone and we're just all depressed about it. I guess the only thing that sucks more about it being gone is that we can't have it back to the way it was. It'll never be the same again.

I had a disturbing dream today. Unfortunately, I can't remember all of it. I remember at one point, some of my brother's friends come over and when I tell them I'm not going to college, they tell me I have to, that I MUST. And I argued with them, telling them I absolutely will not.

Then, another part of the dream, I'm in some room with a bunch of people I've never met. One of them attacks me and tries to stab me with a knife and ends up slashing my left wrist. After that, I left and told them all to stay in the room. I put the knife in the bathroom and bled a little on the counter and I told my brother and his friends what happened. I wasn't all frantic about it or concerned with the people or the person who did it. It was kinda just nonchalant, as I had left someone who tried to kill me in an unlocked room with windows unattended. We all go back there to find that they all left and we go out looking for them. All I remember is that the sun was just below the horizon and there was a gorgeous twilight.

I think I've been having weird dreams a lot lately. I just can't recollect them. Ever since Donnie came here and I've been sleeping in my own uncomfortable bed. I haven't seen or visited with Donnie much since he came here. I've just been feeling so crappy that I've been lazing around my room all day. Usually he leaves before I wake up and when he comes back at night, I'm on the phone or playing games.

Today is no exception. Still boring. Haven't felt like doing anything but getting farther in season three. Yay! I love The OC. I like it a lot more than Degrassi, actually. Okay, well this entry is getting long. I've had a boring three days, and look at how much I can go on about it?

Yesterday had me worried and happy all the same.

I know I'm headed for a nervous breakdown even though a lot of times, I feel in control. It's those times when I feel like I'm losing it that are building up and will ultimately do me in in the end.

I'm a major hypochondriac; yesterday I saw a bump under my right wrist beneath my skin. I had no idea what it was. It felt hard, like a bone. But me suffering from intense anxiety, paranoia and being a hypochondriac, I thought it was cancer. I FLIPPED OUT. I thought I was fucking doomed.

I was way stressed yesterday afternoon. My parents and brother were in town. I was home by myself. My fucking dog got ahold of something and was gonna chew it up. So I spent an hour trying to get it away from the bastard. Stupid dog. Bah. He needs to be disciplined. Majorly. I called my mom, asking how to get it away from him, but nothing worked. At one point, she randomly stopped answering the phone and I freaked then, because I was worried something bad happened. It sucks to realize that it's come to that point when something as simple as someone not answering their phone, that I completely freak out.

Before they left, my mom and dad looked at my bump and said it was a vein, but I had my doubts. Well, I eventually got it back from the dog. Luckily it wasn't anything important. They came home and brought me back The OC season three! :D I was psyched. And they also bought me 1600 Microsoft points for Live!

I watched the first disc of season three so far. I wanna stave it off as long as possible until I get season four.. And just my luck, my mom just found an ad for Best Buy that all four seasons are available for $17.. MOTHERFUCKER! I wish I would've known that. Instead of spending $40 or $50 bucks on it. Well, guess I'll get season four sometime this week.. YAY! At least I'll get that for $17..

We ordered from Fox's.. and like the last two times, I coincidentally got a major headache when I ate.. I dunno what it is. Bah. Bad fucking luck. Didn't help that I was still obsessing over the fucking bump. I felt fucking nauseous, so I practically passed out. I woke up a few hours later and I had a sleeping headache, or it was from the one that was coming. Felt like I got shot in the head. Took some pills.

It went away quite fast. I had to decide how I would spend my MP.. I wanted to buy Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II, and the new maps for Halo 3.. which would amount to 2000 points.. I wanted the games more than the maps, so that's what I bought. Good news is, is that I'm only 400 pts away from the new maps as well. :D Unfortunately SFII lags like a mofo on Live. Hopefully it won't always be like that..

FORTUNATELY!!! My mom took another look at the bump on my arm and told me it was a TENDON. I was SO FUCKING RELIEVED! I KNEW it felt like a bone. I asked her why it was so pronounced, she tells me it's because I'm a guy, but I told her there was no bump on my other arm and that it wasn't always like that and she suggested it was inflamed. Which made sense because my hand had been hurting after playing a lot of Tekken 2 the night before and it was only a little after that that I noticed the bump. Plus, I've been using my hands a lot.. typing.. gaming especially.. so it makes sense. My other hand hurts a little, too. I put an ice pack on it and it helped the pain go away for a while.

My cousin Donnie's coming today. Hopefully not 'til like midnight. I've been working on cleaning and helping out before he comes. Been working yesterday and today. I only got five hours of sleep. I'm exhausted. I'll take a nap after the Super Bowl, which I'm currently watching now. The halftime show is going to start after the next commercial. GO GIANTS! The commercials have been pretty rad. XD

Well, I'm gonna jet before it starts. Later!

Okay, this is like.. sooo weird.

I'm on my brother's MySpace and I'm looking at his friends and some of them I know from LONG, LONG AGO when he was in high school. Well apparently a couple of them are friends with Kat, who was a grade behind me in school. WTF!? So random..

I wonder how many more people are connected this way. Strange.

So, CP2 wasn't exactly what I expected, but I don't give a damn anymore. And I know I sound like a greedy bitch, but I AM! :P At least I admit it. But I'm not really that greedy. If I had money, I'd buy everyone a million gifts. For real.

Anyhoo, aside from Married With Children season one and Burnout Paradise, which is WICKED AWESOME by the way; I got Halo 3 and XBOX LIVE!!! So, of course I fired that baby up right away. I couldn't set it up by myself 'cause I had to punch in 6 million numbers and find our network and blah blah blah. So, my brother helped me with that.

LUCKILY!!!! The name I had as my Gamertag was available on Xbox Live and I was able to keep it! I spent like two hours prior to my dad and brother coming home thinking of a name should I have gotten XBox Live. It's definitely the best I had come up with and I like it. I'm very satisfied. Want it? Just ask.

My brother wanted me to play with him and his friend Charles on Halo 3, but I wasn't very good, I wanted some practice first. I wanted to do other things, anyway. I mainly played around on Burnout Paradise and Revenge, as well as MKA. I kicked ass for my first matches on there, I was proud! My brother and his friend sent me friend invites, I accepted them. I downloaded a bunch of XBox Live Arcade demos, since I have no Microsoft Points, I can't buy the full games. Haha. I downloaded old school Sega games like Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II' HF, Streets of Rage 2, Sonic 2, and Sonic 1. Then, I called it a night.

The next day, I jumped on right away and played Halo 3. I'm actually pretty good at it for a newbie! I played against a bunch of new people for a couple hours. I played Slayer and there's this one guy with a really hot voice on there. I sent him a message and we talked. He was really nice! He even sent me a friend request, so of course I accepted. He's the first friend I made on there besides my brother and his friend. So, that's cool.

Later, my brother got home from his work's Christmas party and me, him and his friend played a bunch of games on Halo 3 live. It was a hell of a lot of fun. Very addicting. My brother says I'm really good for a beginner, my parents say so too. LMAO. During Team Slayer, some people on the other team were named R0SIE 0D0NNEL. LMAO. So random! I hated that match, though. I sucked on that one majorly.

I took a Halo 3 break last night. Played a bunch of my other games. Burnout Revenge; made some new friends there. Same with F.E.A.R. That game is a lot of fun live! I didn't think many people would be playing that game live, but there's quite a few on there. That's way hard. I may be lagging, or others are cheating. Came across a few cheaters on a few games already. Bastards. I also lagged a lot on Halo 3. Really annoying.

My mom and brother got my dad Rock Band. It's pretty cool. I'm not really into those kinda games but they're fun to watch. XD So, my family is really into video games if you haven't noticed. Haha. My dad and bro love the game.

Today is just completely fucking shitty. Don't even wanna talk about it at all. So, good day everybody! OH! And the LG15 finale had quite a twist ending!

Blah. I'm sick.

I'm about to go and watch the Green Bay Packers play the New York Giants. The second football game I actually paid attention to. XD The first one was last weekend. GO PACKERS!! They will win. =P

Well, yesterday was very lazy. My parents were in town most of the day doing Christmas Part 2 shopping. I was planning on going shopping with my brother after they got back.. but he was doing something else. Argh. He's ditched me in doing this for DAYS! Whatever..

I watched this show called Psych on USA. It's a good show! I need to add it to my shows to watch. I plan on boycotting The N relatively soon. My once favorite network is now one of the shittiest in my opinion. I thought that when it went 24/7, it'd be smarter, but it only made room for more stupidity. Instead of perpetuating their original programming, they're cancelling most of it, and flooding the channel with Nickelodeon reruns. If I wanted that, I'd just tune to Nickelodeon. God. Also, they're cancelling a bunch of their pending series. Well, whatever. I'll laugh when all they have left is Degrassi and Nick shows.

I got food from Fox's last night. Love that place. I really didn't do a whole lot after that.. just messed around with IJ and LJ trying to get the perfect layouts and stuff.

My American Eagle clothing my mom ordered for me never arrived yesterday when it really should've.. the shipping place must've closed or something. Strange.

It's a great night to have a football game in Green Bay. It's freezing out and there's a full moon! The elements are definitely on our side tonight!

Me and my brother aren't going shopping tonight, either. The heater in his car blew. Sooo.. I dunno when we'll do it. Maybe he should just do it. I feel like shit, anyway. I feel terrible.. =/

Last night was when my sickness began. Strommen called me at 3:24 AM. He was apparently "drunk," and he thought I called him. The missed call beep coming from my phone was in my dream and eventually, it woke me up an hour later. I forgot what the hell I was dreaming about, too. But I remember it was interesting. I couldn't get back to sleep after that until about 7:22 am. I felt awful.

Well, the game's about to begin. GO PACKERS!!

Yo, yo, yo.

How's it going, everyone? I'm glad so many of you  have found me! There's a lot more stuff I need to "pack up" from GJ. Hopefully I can do it before it buys the farm for good. There's just so many memories I have there, and they're not only in my posts on my journal, but my friends' journals as well.

Let's see.. I've recently gotten back into arcade emulation gaming. XD Since I got DSL now (seven months ago.. but there's still things I haven't done since I got it..), I can download the arcade games much more easily. So, I went to town on a few games. I downloaded Street Fighter II on Wednesday night (Thurs. morning, actually..) and then on Thursday, I downloaded Sonic 1 and 2.. no real differences there.. moreso in Sonic 1, though.

Anyway, Street Fighter II on the arcade is wicked. Apparently, when I download it, I get a bunch of "clones" with it.. which are like hacks of normal ROMs. They did some pretty sweet things with it.

I dunno why, but Thursday was a lot of fun for me. It felt different. Like I came out of the bad atmosphere I had been in for the past couple weeks and I was in a much happier and fun disposition. I suddenly became enthralled with a bunch of guys that I didn't really notice before. GODDD.. I need some male attention. I'm glad I'm gay. =P

It was bitterly cold outside. It was clear out, and very windy. So, the snow was blowing hard, whether or not it was precipitating or not. It was drifting hardcore. It was actually pretty awesome. Someone ended up in the ditch down the road. =X My mom and I shoveled out the driveway. It was literally a pain in the back. Almost had a heartattack because it was so exhausting. But, we got it done in a hurry. It was so cool out there 'cause it was drifting and the moon was out. I love the moon! My neighbor was also snowblowing across the street. Wish he would have done that to our driveway. x_x

Being proactive, I also cleaned out the cans after that. I suggested to my mom that since we did my brother and dad a favor by doing that, we deserve Burger King. XD So, we had them bring some food from there home. They forgot my fries and lettuce on my sandwich. Rawr. Bastards. My mom told me how dysfunctional that place and the employees seem everytime she's went there. XD

I continued with my arcade gaming. :P

I went back to some old traditions today.. like making graphics! Which is a good thing, since I plan to make a living out of it relatively soon. I also got back into As The World Turns. I love that show. I spent a lot of today with my GJ to IJ/LJ transition as well as salvaging some GJ memories. My computer's files are so cluttered. Especially the desktop. So, I cleaned that up and organized my files, now there's no more mess!

I watched Ghost Whisperer and Moonlight later. Those shows are actually really good. They've become my new favorites. Especially Ghost Whisperer. Too bad that when I put in the tape to start taping, I FORGOT TO HIT RECORD. Argh!

My brother called and told me I could play the demo of Burnout Paradise on his 360. Well, when I went to his room in the basement, I noticed some strange squeaking/screeching noise that sounds kinda like a swing set. I made my mom come and listen, but by then, of course it stopped. I thought I was going crazy. Then, when I go back down there with my mom, so she can help me set up the channel, it's going on and we listen to it. We had no idea what it was. But then we figured out it was possibly the gas pipe. Well, when I was playing, when the furnace went off, so did the noise. So that was it. We need to get that fixed ASAP.

Burnout Paradise is okay. But you can't ram people like you can in Revenge. Sigh. But it's wicked cool! =D

A little while ago, I conjured up the lovely background you see here. Do you like it? I just wish IJ had a "fixed background" feature. Rawr! I also made this icon today. Which reminds me; I got my cellphone turned back on tonight at 10:06 pm! After pestering my mom to reactivate it, since we got the money now. My dad doesn't and will never know that the bill costed $300+ dollars. =X Which is the reason why it got shut off and took so long for us to be able to pay for it to turn it back on. My mom made me agree to not go overboard with the minutes again. I can't wait 'til I get my site up and make my own money and have my own phone plan. Then I can buy texting!! Whee!

I had a much better day today than yesterday. The refinance money FINALLY came to us in the mail today. It was funny, because my mom stepped out for a few minutes and asked me to watch for the UPS guy to come and sign the paper if she wasn't back in time. Well, she came back and they hadn't come yet. We saw the UPS truck go down the lane next to my house, and my dad opened the door and there it was in the doorway. I KNEW I heard a noise of some sort. Strange they didn't ask for a signature, or even ring the doorbell at least. But, whatever. I'm not complaining.

Well, last week Friday I was looking at AE.com at the clothes I wanted for Christmas part 2, and the prices were at an incredibly low price! So I told my mom about it ASAP, and I even found another shirt for a good deal. They were only available on the website, but my mom didn't have enough money in her account to pay for it. So, we had to wait 'til today to buy them. I was worried they'd no longer be available, but they were. And she ordered 'em. Wo0t!

My brother got an XBox 360 Elite. I'm jealous, but it's cool!