Woven Cognition

yesterday was a major flop. it did not turn out as nice as i had anticipated. it started before i even went to bed. man, was i miserable. i thought that my fucking cold would have been done by yesterday, but think it was possibly the most irritating day yet. it was really hard to breathe and i had to keep blowing my nose every two seconds and my eyes were watering a lot. it took me a long time to fall asleep and i only slept for a couple hours.

the n's been playing some old school nickelodeon shows, which is pretty cool. it makes me feel nostalgic, so i looked up some clips from all that on youtube. this one guy posted a bunch of clips from ask ashley. haha. they're still funny. there were some others, too. the next day, yesterday, i went to go look at them again, and some were deleted. a little later on, they were all deleted and the guy's account was suspended due to him having so many copyright infringed videos. seriously, fuck youtube. copyright infringement my ass. what sense does it make that we can't watch those videos online for free, but we can watch them on tv for free?

little miss obsessive's video was supposed to premiere on trl finally yesterday, but did that happen? nope. i was pissed. whatever. i did get to see this gorgeous man on another show on mtv. holy fuck. i almost died. it's so fucking depressing seeing hot guys you know you'll never have. fuck.

my mom and i argued about me looking for some shit that i had no clue where it was, and she refused to help me. argh. it's no big deal anymore. i looked and couldn't find it. she said it wasn't really that necessary to have, anyway.

i was too bored to play on xbl last night. lately, no one's been on there or no one's been playing halo. it kinda sucks. everyone's playing cod4 or gta4. so, i killed the boredom by watching the unadvertised 24+ hour marathon of zoey 101. i guess they heard my inside joke of the episodes lasting for days at a time. or they were promoting the series finale.

today was much better. my brother gave me this screen recorder, so i can record things from youtube and wherever else. yay! not so much happened today, really. but it is better than being miserable. i watched the series finale of zoey 101. aw. =[ i just started watching it, too. it was good, though.

tomorrow i get my new tv. =] i'm psyched. i gotta clean it up, still. something tells me i'll have more than enough time to do that tomorrow, though. but, i'll still do it tonight, most likely.

mannnnn.. it was real shitty out most of today. then, it was foggy and come dusk, the fog lifted and it was gorgeous outside and it became windy. goddd. i love it. later, folks.

i feel much better today. =]

oh and in case you're wondering, 'cause i know you were, my left shift key broke. i refuse to bother using the right shift key, because i am left shift key oriented. only.

It's the last day of April. Sigh. What's the big deal, you ask? Nothing, really. For some reason, this month has brought me a lot of nice things. I met new people, made new friends, overcame obstacles and had a lot of fun. This month has been fantastic ever since the first day.But, here's to a whole bunch of other great months in the future!

I've been having a bittersweet week thus far. On Monday, I was bored for almost the entire day. I actually started playing on Halo 3 with friends I currently have. Normally, once I add someone as a friend on Xbox Live, I don't really play with them again. Which is probably why so many of them end up deleting me. But even so, they shouldn't. They should be just a little more patient with me. I can understand if your friends list is filling up and you wanna weed out the people you don't play with/talk to, but some of these people only have like 5 friends max. This isn't what this entry's about, though.

I played a few games on Forge with Gaby's brother and my other friend, Mitch. I didn't meet these two on Xbox Live, though. Well, Gaby's brother, technically I did. Whatever. Mitch and I played a few games later that night and one of my other friends, who added me from Halo 3 was online, so I sent him an invite to join us and he eventually came and played with us. It was a lot of fun. The guy's really cool. He's the one I wrote about in an earlier entry - the one I thought would ignore me but sent me a friend request instead. Hah.

We played a few rounds, and then they both had to leave so I went to bed after that. Unfortunately that day, I was also getting sick. My throat started to feel funny, so I started spraying Zicam in my throat. My brother was getting that feeling when we were bringing Chazz home, and now he's sick. I'm like a sickness magnet, so of course I'd be next. My throat got progressively worse and the next day it was unbearable. I woke up early, being unable to sleep any longer, plus I wanted to play with Gaby. She couldn't go on , her brother stayed home sick. What a coincidence. It's okay, I probably shouldn't have been talking anyway.

I napped a couple times throughout the day. Took some "tasteless" medicine you mix with a drink. It's not so tasteless. It's downright nauseating. Fuck that, I'm sticking with the throat spray. It hurt to talk, breathe and swallow. It hurt A LOT. I coulld barely talk at all. My cousin came over and she and my mom went out to eat and back to her place. My mom wanted to get away from my crazy uncle. I don't blame her one bit. I chilled at home and kept watch of things. My mom came back a couple of hours later and brought me back food and cough drops. I hadn't had a cough drop since that morning and I was DYING for one. After I ate, my throat felt a lot better. My cousin also let me have her jester hat she got when my brother, my dad and my brother's friend and her went down to Louisiana to get the shit my bro's ex gf stole from him back. Man, she remembered I wanted a hat like that and that happened 8 or so years ago. I'm surprised she still remembers. Haha. It's a cool hat, though! She's so generous. She paid for everything! I owe her a lot.

Mitch, his friend and I played Halo again that night. My friend never showed up. He said he was going to. Something musta came up. I did see him online during the day, though.

Today, my throat felt a lot better. I could talk again! But my other cold symptoms flared up. I had a stuffy nose, a cough and my head hurt. I lazed around today. Didn't play Xbox Live at al.. NOBODY'S ON! What the hell? I really wanna play with my new friend again. He's cool and fun to play with.

I'm getting my new TV on Saturday! Yay! That guardian bitch comes over on Friday. Luckily, I won't have to deal with her at all. Little Miss Obsessive music video's on tomorrow's TRL. It'll be a good next couple days!

Since I HATE having to recall a week or more of events when I update, I'm going to update about Thursday, April 17th - Friday, April 18th 12:00AM - 5:14AM, 2008 RIGHT NOW!!

Well, the most I can say is Xbox Live Halo 3 and sleeping addict = me. Yeah. I went to bed about 24 hours later than I woke up the day before. I figured at 5 am, that since I was gonna meet Gaby on Live in a few hours, no point in sleeping. I'd just be tired that way. We played for only about an hour and she had to leave. We need to practice our Team Doublez. :P And I spell it with a 'z' because this one guy with a really hot voice spelled it like that and it'll probably heighten my chances of getting into his pants if I spell things just like he does. Despite the fact that I haven't talked to him since I added him. Oh, sigh.

Anyway.. I've become Mr. Popularity on Live.. probably because I actually avidly use it now. I got two friend requests today and one person accepted one I sent. I feel bad though, 'cause this guy I added wanted to talk to me on private chat, but I never accepted. I jut don't know what we'd talk about. I'd feel awkward. Maybe another time. I just told him I lost my mic. Plus, I was playing in a game. I don't want him hearing my violent rants. Haha.

I was playing Swords and I was sucking bad in the beginning, got better, sucked again after that and I was getting really frustrated so I just lost it and started kicking everyone's asses. It was awesome. Someone caught up and surpassedme, but then I just kicked it into overdrive and won. I was PISSED though, 'cause after that, I switched games for Halo 2 and little did I know that that'd cause me to lose all my recent unsaved videos. So that brilliant victory is gone. =[ But, I still have a record of it at least.

My brother wanted me to play Halo 2 on Live with him. But I had to redownload a bunch of maps first, and it wasn't cooperating, so I just gave up and told him I'd play tomorrow.

Oh, and there was this douchebag on Oddball who called everyone a dumbass for killing him when he didn't have the ball. He said you only kill the person with the ball. Uhm, asshole, if that were true, you wouldn't show up in RED. You show up in green if you're not supposed to kill the person and you'd lose a point. That's the object of the game. Retard. Oh, and he was doing the same thing he was preaching against. Fuckass. God, I love the Theater feature.

My uncle is driving everyone crazy. I REALLY wish he could move back home. I do not like him staying here. Nobody does. He's being really ungrateful and he blames us for what happened. He doesn't realize how hard my parents fought to get him here and he acts like this? Have a little gratitude. We cold have not done anything and let him get sent to some awful nursing home.

My parents went to the dentist's office and I crashed. I woke up periodically, but slept until about 8 pm. I had some dinner and my stomach started hurting bad. It felt sick when I first woke up, actually. So, I went back to sleep until 11:30 or so.

I showed my family some of those Chenbot videos. XD Those are great. "But first.." And then we saw some video from the premiere of Big Brother 1. It's been so long since I saw BB1. Everything is so different. Better now, though. For sure. It looks so primitive compared to the way it is now.

I downloaded those maps and I played some rounds of H2 with my brother and his friend. I played solo twice before they joined me. It's so much harder than Halo 3. And Halo 2 looks so much more primitive than Halo 3. In one of the later games, I came across this guy from the second game I played on Halo 2 alone. He started talking shit to me, but I ignored him. I sucked at that game, but I beat his stupid ass. Punk ass bitch. I wanna meet up with him again and chew him out. I looked at his Service Record and he SUCKS. HAHA! Moron.

Anyway, that's all for me. I dunno how to go about today.. I slept for like a thousand hours yesterday. Meh... I hate my sleep patterns..

Don't remember a lot from Thursday. Other than that I played with Gaby on Live and Michael was voted off AI. I was so mad about that! Oh, and I had trouble with brushes. Blah.Also, dealing with sleeping problems sucks.

My sleep schedule continued to plague me on Friday. I was about to go to sleep but then I had a head explosion and couldn't go back to sleep. Then, it started thundering and lightning outside. So, I just stayed awake for a long time. I finally went to bed around 2:30 after talking to Megan a couple times, MySpacin' and Eccoin' and breakfastin'.

I had a provocative dream involving one of my friends. It ended up being a wet dream in a weird way. It was bizarre, but erotic. I haven't had one of those in a really long time. Like, since I was 14. Lmao. I know you thought that was TMI. OH WELL!!! Then, I woke up late while Degrassi was on. Not much else of interest that day.

Last Saturday was warm and windy, this Saturday started off cold and snowy. Ugh. We have the most fucked up weather in Wisconsin. By the time I woke up, most of the snow had melted. Thank god! That night, I just decided to play Halo 3 on Xbox Live. I'm glad I did. It was a lot of fun. And really, the first time I actually avidly played it. Usually I play it sporadically and for like an hour at a time. I played from midnight to 4 am. I'm REALLY immersed in it, now. I even encountered this little asshole kid who talked shit to me. Lmao. He must've been younger than 12. He kept calling me a "disease" because of my gamertag. Ha. Whatever. I kicked his scrawny little ass and told him off afterwards. Bet he didn't see that coming. Looking at the video of the match, he just pussed around most of the game and went into hiding after I killed him. HAHA!! LOSER!!

I don't recall much of Sunday.. moving on.. I went to sleep EARLY on Sunday night/Monday morning at about 2 am. Then, I woke up suddenly at 6 am. Couldn't get back to slleep, and I was wide awake anyway, so I stayed up. Monday was strange. I felt fine for the first few hours, continued playing more of Halo. Which I had been doing every day since Saturday night. My mom wanted me to help with yard work, which I would have done, but I started feeling dizzy and had a headache. I think it's from lack of sleep and that I was up for a while by then. Then, my mom got a call from my dad saying the hood on the car flew back and broke the windshield when him and my bro were on their way to work. My dad accidentally didn't close it right when they were at the gas station. They're both alright. No injuries. The windshield needs to be replaced. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. The hood is all bent up, too.

I went to sleep after they came back home and slept for 5 hours. 3-8. Longer than I expected to. I felt bad, because it was such a nice day outside and I missed out on it. I also feel bad for not helping my mom outside, but I felt sick. I had an odd dream, in it I was at my house with my family and some guy came home with my brother. He was like some sort of lawyer. While he was here, three helicopters crashed in our yard. It wasn't a HUGE deal for some reason. To my family, it kinda was a mere disturbance, but no one else in the neighborhood seemed to notice. The copters were kinda small, too. There were people camped out in the backyard and we went out and talked to them and found out they were the reason the crashes happened and apparently there were seven building explosions in the news, they were also behind them. The man who came to our house was also involved. It ended there. It was so strange. I played it in my head afterwards and added more to it. It'd make a cool story or video game or movie..

It was so cool in my room when I woke up, the window was open and it was windy and the fan was blowing. I'm lame. I'm a sucker for nice weather, though. My dad randomly bought a new car. I watched After Dark on ShoToo and kept watching after it was over. There was this movie on after it called Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, which was kinda disturbing in some parts. It basically emulated popular urban legends. One part, this girl gets bitten by a spider and wakes up the next morning to see the bite on her cheek, she pops it, then spiders crawl out of the popped bite like crazy. Like millions of them. Then she bashes her head against the mirror and spiders pour out of her head. It was really disgusting. I fucking HATE spiders. At leas they're only myths. I think I played more Halo after that or something.. can't remember. Then, this movie called The Roost was on when I came back.. I saw the end of it. It was weird.

Slept for only a few hours because I was gonna meet Gaby on Live and my mom wanted me to wake her up at 8:30 so she could take my uncle to his doctor's appointment. Gaby and I had so much fun as usual. This time we actually playe with others in Big Team Slayer and Team Doubles. I normally only play Slayer on Rumble Pit. It was cool to branch out for once, and it's not so bad doing those other games I thought I'd suck at and wouldn't ike. I had Java Monster, an eclair torte and popcorn for breakfast. Lmao. I had been playing in ranked matches since Sunday or Monday and getting my skill level up mainly in Lone Wolves, so I continued with that on Tuesday.. I'm doing good in there. I usually get 2nd place or higher. I wanna get more wins, though.. not just 2nd place all the time.

I met some cool new people, no bratty kids. I sent three of them messages. One of them in particular, I wanted a response from and I had sent him the message while he was offline, and I noticed later that he was online, but did not respond to me, so I was kinda bummed about that. I was feeling sick again later. I think it was from lack of sleep once again. I think I get emotionally and mentally distraught when I'm sleep deprived. I slept until American Idol was 15 minutes over and felt a lot better. Watched AI, then BB9. I'm pissed I missed some of AI. I was pissed at myself again for missing out on a gorgeous day. It was warm and windy.. REALLY windy outside. I LOVE weather like that. The night was still stellar, so I went out and jumped on my trampoline that night. The moon was pretty much full and illuminated the sky. Perfect.

I avoided a potentially bad situation that night when I scratched my Rihanna CD really bad. I was freaking pissed. I tried rubbing it away, but wouldn't dissipate. The CD skipped, too. BAH!! So, I borrowed the DVD resurfacer and THANKFULLY it's good as new. It plays just fine now. Phew. Thank god for DVD doctors.. I was afraid it wouldn't work. I can still see the scratches, but it works nonetheless. I also noticed on Xbox Live's website, that I got a message back from one of the guys I talked to on Halo today. That was cool.

Woke up at 1 today (Wednesday) and went outside and enjoyed the amazing weather. Jumped on the trampoline for a while. It was still warm and windy. About 70 degrees today!I just chilled today.. didn't go on Live yet today. I also took a break from my daily workouts for a bit. I need to get back into that. I can't quit NOW.

Actually, I did go on Live for a minute today. I noticed I had 3 new messages. One of them was a friend request from the one guy I really wanted to hear back from and the other was a message from the third guy I talked to, plus the one from last night. I was happy about that! Surprised, too, because I didn't think he'd respond at all if he didn't respond right away. That rarely happens to me on MySpace. So, I was pretty tickled about that. XD

BB9 pissed me off. I'm so angry that Natalie got evicted! GRR!

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Unfortunately, the day after my amazing day on Saturday wasn't so spectacular. I don't remember when the day began for me, so whatever. While I was watching Big Brother, I noticed across the street, a dead cat. I thought for the longest time that it was just a pile of snow, but the snow has all melted. I went to go check and sure enough, it was my cat that disappeared around Christmastime. I was more angry than sad. I was kinda expecting him to be dead. He must have been like that for a long time, since I noticed him there weeks ago, but I thought he was a pile of snow. I can't even tell where his face is. Poor kitty. I fucking hate people who run over animals. I can understand if it were an accident or if you can't help it. But I know there are people who purposely run over animals, and I seriously hope those people get what's coming to them. Maybe I should hop into a car and "accidentally" hit those people. OOPS!

Then Strommen found my "hidden" MySpace. How the fuck did he find me? I used a false name when registering and I have a fake location. Any friend I have on my "school safe" MySpace that I'm also friends with on my "hidden" one is private, therefore he can't find me through them. Fucking freak. Whatever. I really don't give a shit. It just really annoys me.

Finally, I really hurt the teeth on the left side of my mouth. It may be because I don't brush my teeth as much that I should, or that I bit on something really hard and jarred my mouth. Well, it hurt while I was eating after I bit on something really hard earlier. I thought I chipped a tooth, but I checked and nothing looks any different. I took some ibuprofen and put a cold gel pack up to my cheek which only killed some of the pain. The next morning, I thought it had gone away completely, but my cheek still hurt. Kinda in the same way that my face hurts sometimes, but worse and longer. I numbed my cheek and kept using cold compresses which would only work for a short amount of time.

Tuesday morning, I played on Live with Gaby and I noticed my face didn't hurt at all until a little while into playing with her. We actually got to play more for once. It was fun as always. I was pretty popular that day, I was getting calls and stuff from everyone. A short time after that, the little pain that was still there was now gone and it hasn't come back since. THANK YOU! I'll brush more often. I need to take better care of myself.

Uck. It snowed again last night, but luckily it's gone now. I also caught up on LG15 again. I was expecting A LOT to be different now, since I hadn't paid attention to it since the season 2 finale at the end of January (same day I got XBox Live! :D) but there wasn't much different, still a cool show anyway.

Watching American Idol Gives Back and Big Brother 9. James is gone! And Idol Gives Back is pretty cool, too.

Let's just say that these past few days have been absolutely amazing. It is a relief to finally be able to say that without sarcasm. All I have to say is thank you to whoever got me out of that depression mess.

Now, to elaborate; I'll start with Thursday night / Friday morning. I was watching Hostel on Showtime when I was considering going on Xbox Live to surprise my brother since I kinda have been avoiding it and have turned down all his requests for me to join him and his friends on there to play. I decided to return to Xbox Live and played Halo 3 with my brother and his friend, Chazz. I had a lot of fun! I'm getting back into the swing of it all and I don't give a shit what people say anymore. I won't let it ruin my fun. We played for a few hours. I had signal trouble at first, but it went away for the most part after a while.

The Heroic Map set is now free. I'm stoked. That was the original intention for buying those MPs a few months ago, but instead I bought Street Fighter II HF and Ecco the Dolphin instead. I didn't have enough points after that to buy it. Now it's free! Good things come to those who wait after all. I couldn't download it at the time, but I planned to later. After they signed off, I played FEAR, where I broke down more walls. I used to be shy on the mic and wouldn't talk to people I didn't know even if they talked to me first, I wouldn't even have the headset connected much of the time. Sometimes I'd have it connected, but muted. But this time I talked! It seems lame, but I think it's cool. It was great. I made some new friends. The first guy I talked to was British and had a thick accent. XD It was kinda hard to understand him sometimes, but it was all good.

Slept until 2, but woke up a few times before and thought it was like 7 at night, but it was only noon so I went back to bed. Haha. I wanted to watch the Degrassi Spring Break Movie. It was good.. but, it really wasn't a movie. It was just an hour long special. Movies, even made for TV movies are usually an hour and a half long without commercials. With commercials, 2 hours. Whatever. It was still good. Can't wait for new episodes next week.

I watched the videos of the games I played on Halo 3 the night before. Haha. Fun times. Took a bunch of screenshots, too.

I met this guy named Josh on MySpace on Tuesday the same way I met pretty much everyone else. But what wasn't the same was that he actually talks back to me unlike many other people! We messaged each other back and forth over the past few days. We talked about our lives, backgrounds, interests, being gay. XD All that. He added me on MSN and Yahoo last night/yesterday morning. We talked more about whatever. It's great getting to know him. He's such a great guy and he's only a year younger than me. One problem, he's taken. But you know, I'm more than happy to be friends with him.

Yesterday was such an incredible day. It was so fucking nice outside. The nicest day of the year so far. Warm, sunny and windy. The perfect trio. The night before, I asked my dad to fix my fan 'cause it's always so stuffy and warm in my room. He told me he was just gonna buy me a new one, which was really generous of him. My parents went up to my uncle's house while I was asleep, then came back and let me know they were going to town and I had to watch over the house. When they left I went outside and jumped on the tramp named Oline, which is just fine despite being outside for the duration of the long, cold winter. Surprising! I spent a lot of time outside and I felt so much better than I had all week... all month.. ALL YEAR! Being cooped up in my room during the winter sucks. What else am I to do, though? The fresh air and activity revitalized me.

When my parents came home, I ate and I talked to Josh and watched TV. Which is pretty much what I was doing before they came home, minus the eating. My new fan is slightly different than my old one, unfortunately. But it is new and it works great. It feels so nice to have a new, working fan. I hope it lasts a while. Especially knowing the way the summer is here..

Later, my parents, brother and I all played frisbee in the dark with this old '80s light up frisbee my mom won on eBay. It's not bad spending time with the family and I had fun. XD I was gonna go on my webcam but I got a headache. Bah. I didn't feel like it anymore. Talked to a million people for the rest of the night. On the phone, online and texting (online).

I just got added by this guy named Adrian and for once, soomeone who added me is cute!

Well, I'm gonna go to bed now since it's bright outside. Nyeh. Goodnight.. or morning, all! I'll keep you updated on my fabulous days to come!

Hey everybody. It's me, Chris, your undiagnosed insane blogger!

Before I get into Tuesday, there's something I forgot to mention that happened on Sunday night. While I was watching Big Brother 9, a firetruck went past my house. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary. Not until the fifth one in a row passed by and I realized it had to be some big fire or incident for that. They were going in the direction of  the town I lived, so I thought it was just further in the city, so I ran out to check what was going on. Turns out the problem wasn't in the city, it was at my new neighbor's house.

The firetrucks went down the lane leading to the house. I couldn't see any fire or smoke whatsoever. After I went outside, about three more firetrucks came through, plus some police cars and ambulances. We were all outside and there was such a commotion, cars were stopping and slowing down to see what happened. We couldn't tell. The house was too far away. The ambulance took somebody away, I'm sure. I got some pictures. The whole thing took about 10-15 minutes to clear up. It was crazy.  I hope no one was seriously hurt or worse..

To this day, I don't know what happened. It wasn't on the news and wasn't in the paper. The local papers come out on Friday and Saturday, so we'll see if it's on there.

Anyway, Tuesday was kinda.. shitty. I had a rough time getting to sleep. I fell asleep at midnight and only slept for four hours. Then, I couldn't get back to sleep until around 8 and by that time, it was so bright in my room from the sunlight. Needless to say, going to sleep wasn't going to be easy. I woke up a few hours later, and it was one of those times where it felt like I never fell asleep at all. Like I dozed off without myself noticing. I was crushed up against my headboard and my right arm was underneath me and was numb and cold, which along with my abrupt waking up from a not-feeling-like-sleep sleep freaked me out and I felt so disoriented for some reason. It was so fucked up.

I fell back asleep and I had a terrible nightmare. My house was invaded by these bad people and apparently there was a maze in my basement with other random good people in there. Well, I had a radar for some reason, so I could see them all running around down there. Then I see red dots which indicated bombs. The bombs were from the bad guys and they were killing the good guys with them.

Suddenly, I'm in the laundry room with one of the bad guys and I fall for a trap and I release a bomb switch, which looked like a window blinds pull thing caught on the laundry chute. The bad guy told me a bomb would go off in a certain amount of time. I guess I fell asleep during the dream and dreamt that I reversed time and didn't release the switch. But then I woke up and there was ony 60 seconds left to get out of the house before it would blow up. I got everyone out of the house, and run out myself. The sky looked like it was on fire and I aw a bus go by. Buses ALWAYS appear in my dreams. It was as if it were the time I usually wait for a bus to go to school. My mom and dad come outside soon, too. (Where are my brother and my uncle?) As time runs out, a fighter jet flies up directly above my house and I realize  that it wasn't a timer for a bomb in my house, it was a timer for an air raid. The jer started firing missiles down on my house, but then bullets from some unknown source (I didn't bother looking behind me) shot all the missiles down before they reached my house.

That's it. I like to think maybe it signifies something bad trying to get to me and my family, but fate won't let it happen.

HOW AWESOME WAS BB9!? Hahaha. So long, Joshuah. Now James needs to get the fuck OUT OF THERE.

I tried going to sleep early again last night. Failed. Stayed up on MySpace and talked to friends. Mostly new ones! I even talked to that freak, Dev on Yahoo. Fun, fun. Listened to random voice messages on Snapvine. I was pretty happy 'cause I found some things to block the sunlight out of my room while I'm trying to sleep. Yay for dark rooms! Gaby and I went on Xbox Live and played for a while. It was a lot of fun as always!

After that, I talked to Megan who got SUSPENDED and Drew who likes to steal clothes from people who are wearing them. Then I went to bed. I was sooo tired. Slept until about 6 and now here I am. Done and done.

Did I mention today is my half birthday? Six months to 20!

Alright. Here we go again. TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON IN MY BORING LIFE!! For the last time on here!

Let's see.. I left off on Easter. Both of my video games are awesome. If I hadn't stated that already. Thank god, too. I was worried they wouldn't be good, knowing my luck..

I still have been kinda paranoid about my health. But I know there's nothing wrong with me, so I just need to convince myself that. I am getting better though, feeling better physically and mentally.

Unfortunately, my sleep schedule keeps getting later and later and because my bed isn't the most comfortable bed ever, I keep waking up with a bad headache and neck pain. Blah.

Well, I'm officially announcing that I am over Richard. I know, I know. It's a huge shock. I bet a lot of you don't even know who I'm talking about, though. Haha. Thanks to GJ going down.  For me, the only thing that can break a crush is another man. But, since I haven't seen Richard in nearly a year, I suppose that'll do it, too.

Now, I'm searching for new guys. I've been making, or attempting to make new friends on MySpace. Hopefully t all works out.

I've been having some vivid dreams again. In one of them, I was in the Big Brother house again. I dunno if I talked about the other one I had a while ago. Anyway, in this one I was in the HOH room and I was stupefied because I was actually in the BB house and I was on TV. It was  a surreal feeling and above all, I was the first HOH of the season. It was pretty cool. XD

One night I had three dreams, the first one I was back in the trailer and there was some homophobe man sitting at the kitchen table antagonizing me and bossing me around and no one in my family would do anything about it, so I got a shotgun and killed him. The next one was interesting, I was at the trailer again and we were being attacked by really fat, evil pigeons. So, me and Kah ran to a truck and we started being attacked, so Kah used her powers to "purify" the truck, which meant making it spin in the air like a tornado to get rid of them. LMAO. So random. The last one I barely remember, I was at my current house and it had to do with my family sitting at the table and my parakeet. That's all I remember.

Brenda, Moriah and I also prank called people on Saturday. Good times for sure! XD

Today was the best day I had in a long time. I woke up early and played on Xbox Live with Gaby and we talked on there. It's been a while since we did that. It was a lot of fun! After that, I listened to music and found a great guy and just chilled out. It was great. I only had four hours of sleep, so I went back to bed after that for a few hours. The weather is amazing. It was supposed to snow, but it didn't.  Woke up, watched American Idol and Big Brother and that special about how you can live to be 150 years old. Yes, it was most definitely a good start to April. Besides having a headache.

New music on MySpace and YouTube videos have been keeping me happy. Yay broadband! I've been way more active on MySpace, too. It really is a lot of fun and I'm also introducing my friends to each other. I love doing that, and I love meeting new friends.



So, this is it, folks. I'm leaving IJ and LJ.. blogging is just becoming too much of a hassle. I just want to live and not have to worry about documenting it. If you want to stay in contact with me, check my userinfo page. Bye!














Gotcha. APRIL FOOLS!!

Alright, for those of  you who don't already know, last Wednesday was court again and... we won! I was ecstatic. All the guardianship was returned to us. My uncle is currently living here and some bitch has to check up on us each month but we could hopefully end that soon. The only reason he can't stay at his old place is because he needs a new trailer and he was deemed "incompetent" by his bastard backstabbing doctor. So, to counter that, we can get him another doctor.

I hate that i no longer have the guest bedroom haven to retreat to... but I'm glad we won and that my uncle is safe and here with us.
Drew came back on Friday, so we've been hanging out a lot. It's good to finally hang out with other people. My social life is non existent. That's no secret. He let me borrow Supernatural seasons 1 and 2 and I borrowed him seasons 2-4 of The OC. I barely got through half of the first season. Too much has happened this week and it deterred me from watching it. I started it on Tuesday.

Which is the same day I went on an Avril trip and started downloading most of "Let Go." That album's really good. I like a lot of her old stuff. She needs to return to that. I didn't mind "The Best Damn Thing" but it could've been way better. Tuesday is when my mom got the call from Julie (uncle's lawyer..) about how she anticipated how the trial would go.. she said it'd go well and it DID. As you already know. :D

I am PISSED that Matty got voted out of BB9 on Wednesday! I want James OUT. People like him really rattle my chains. Going off about how you stick to your word and then going back on it. You make yourself look incredibly retarded there. Backstabbing is more appreciated than hypocrisy in my book. Plus he acts like he's some valiant hero out to rid the BB house of evildoers.. aka people who lied to his face and didn't vote him back in. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Just be thankful you got back into the house. He acts like it's a crime for people to lie to him, yet he can do it to everyone else. Bah. It annoys me something fierce. James should be GONE. Matty should be IN. End of story.

On Thursday, not much happened. I randomly stumbled upon this parody of The OC called "The emOC." It was absolutely hysterical. It was so damn spot on which made it that much funnier. Then I hung out with my cousin and his friend and faced car trouble upon coming back. That was fun. This past week, my internet randomly stopped working at night. It's bullshit. Drew gave me one of his old computers. I just need to find a power socket for it.

All I did on Friday was obsess over South of Nowhere. SO PISSED THAT IT'S ENDING!

Today, some guy from AT&T was gonna come and fix the internet. I was expecting him to be here at like 8.. But what they meant was he was gonna be here any time from 8 to 5. My parents went Easter shopping and the dude showed up and stayed for a while, fixed the internet.. apparently it was interference and did something to somehow allow us to attain our upgrade from 1.5 MB to 3 MB today instead of Monday. It was originally supposed to happen between Wed and Fri, but that didn't happen. I didn't notice much of a difference and I didn't even have a signal most of the time, then my brother checked it out and said it was because the antennae is surrounded by cords and noted that my computer is fucking FULL of dust, so I unhooked everything and took my computer downstairs and we vacuumed it and cleaned it. Then I brought it back up and noticed a difference. I cleaned my room finally, too. I randomly decided to watch a playthrough of Night Trap. Good times.

My parents got home and then I ate and did things for Easter, cleaning, coloring eggs, etc. At this time, I'm juggling a million things. Lots of people called me and shit. I started to watch SNL, which was pretty great with the period pill commercial. Lmfao. But then I had to do other things and missed the rest of it. I taped it, though. I also saw part of MadTV with the Halo 3 spoof. XD

Man, this entry is taking way too long to finish. Alright. Happy Easter, everyone!

I gotta say I've been having a pretty decent past couple of days. I've been relying heavily on YouTube to bring me up and YouTube delivered accordingly.

A large portion of my Sunday was spent doing some investigating on two men in particular who currently have my near devoted attention. Well, I had found a lot of information on both. Good information on one, bad information on the other. That's all I can really say for now. Oh, and that led me to witness "2girls1cup." Lmao. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. WHen it comes to shit like that.. (pardon the pun) or anything kinky, I'm nowhere near being faint of heart. So I just laughed at it. XD

Brenda and I watched Big Brother 9 and afterwards my brother and I ran up to my uncle's house to feed the cats. Well, this visit was very bizarre. The door was pretty well frozen shut. The electricity wasn't working and the furnace was off. The house was freezing. When my brother tried turning on the lap, it flickered and shorted out. The fridge kept trying to start up but would quit. My brother went and messed with the circuit breaker. None of the circuits were tripped. He kept switching them and when he turned one of them OFF, the kitchen lights turned on very dimly. Then all of a sudden they lit up like the fucking sun. I thought the rest of the lights on the lamp turned on, but it was the same two that were dimly lit at first. I also thought a different switch made them brighter but that happened on its own. It was pretty weird and creepy being in a completely dark trailer. Some random asshole could have broken in there. I did hear some weird noises..

Anyway, I fed the cats, my brother told my mom what's going on and we left. The cats are fine and all accounted for. :D There are a number of things that could've happened. That stupid bitch "guardian" of his could have come and shut all that shit off, the shitty neighbors could've fucked with the fuses or someone else did, or the power lines are frozen, or the cold from the lack of an operating furnace has something to do with it.

I spent the rest of the night YouTubing. Mostly on Chris Crocker related videos. Man, there are some really unfortunate people in the world. I'd go into a huge rant right now, but I don't feel like it.

Douche Lawyer Matt came to inspect the house today. He only really glanced at the entry area, the kitchen, family room and the guest room where my uncle would be staying. Then him and my parents talked for the rest of the time. Apparently he's "nice" but still a douche. He's only 27..  And dammit, I fucking missed ATWT because of that! He didn't even bother going in my room. I guess I could've just watched it anyway. Whatever.

The rest of today was spent on YouTube. Chris Crocker is hilarious. He has some great videos that are funny and he proves a good point in some, too. Not all, some videos I don't agree with. Whatever. I also saw some videos of people who are just causing me to lose faith in humanity and this country and everything else ever so quickly.

If I could, I would become a loudmouthed video blogger and voice my controversial opinions to the world and make all those haters cry in shame. I'd challenge any stupid cocksucking basher to come up and try to beat me down. Then I'll laugh when they hit the pavement 'cause nobody schools me, I do the schooling around here. I never back down. You know, I become so humored when little assholes talk shit and think they're better than me or someone else. They try to talk you down and tell you you need to shut up and that they're better than you, that you don't know what you're talking about and that they're the authority on whatever the subject at hand is. But that's not the case at all. I do know what I'm talking about and I do know I'm better than the random shit talker. And no amount of their "educating" will cause me to deter from my opinion. Especially when I know I'm right.

Yeah, I know I have a boring life.

I know I've become a real asshole. I just have to say..

DEAL WITH THAT SHIT! >=D

Man, I have been feeling my stress catch up to me these past couple days. I've been really exhausted lately. It might be me forcing myself to change my sleep schedule to something more convenient, but I become unbearably exhausted by the time 9 rolls around and that's odd. I wake up at 8 - 10 AM.. Soo. I don't get that.

Wednesday was the big ol' twist for Big Brother. I was so excited to see what it was. But RIGHT when the show began, I fell asleep. BAH! My sleep pattern really loves to spite me. I missed about 40 minutes of it. But my mom taped it so I watched that part afterward. We ordered from Fox's 'cause they're amazing. The twist was pretty much what I envisioned and that's a good thing. Earlier, I randomly stumbled upon this Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on Newlyweds parody. It's so funny! I love Ashlee, and I'm pretty sure it's all in good fun. Not to be defamatory. But don't quote me on it. I SAID DON'T QUOTE ME, DAMMIT! Anyway, it's another thing I do to keep me from going back to the Dark Side™ as I have affectionately dubbed my negative moods.

Click. Click. Clicklcickclcicckclcckckck.

Damn the lack of embedding ability. I think the girl playing Ashlee looks so much like Jamie Lynn Spears.

I noticed that this change has caused me to have three new behaviors; mood swings, weird sleep patterns, and nonstop anger. You'll witness some of the latter in a later entry.

Next day was court. Luckily, I didn't have to go. But the hearing didn't go extraordinary. My mom and my uncle's neighbor, not the bad one, gave their testimony but were forced to leave before any of the opposing morons made theirs for whatever reason.. There's another hearing on the 19th.

I can't recall anything else of significance occuring on that day.. besides talking to Gaby, of course. :D Ooh, I'm finally back into watching As The World Turns. I missed that show. I hadn't been able to watch it for over a month. So much shit has happened so it's kinda hard to keep up. I also added this gorgeous guy on MySpace in hopes of being friends with him.

Friday's Degrassi was spectacular. Probably one of the best episodes I've seen in a while. One of the reasons I'm still watching. That and some syndicated shows I like such as Saved by the Bell and Sabrina are the only reasons I'll watch The N once South of Nowhere takes the dive. I passed out around 9. I am not exaggerating when I say that's the earliest I've gone to bed in probably five years at the very least.

Over the past few days I've been feeling myself come out of my depression/breakdown/crisis thing. But one thing I learned is that I guess I'm pretty fragile. Since the simplest things make me freak out as if I were back at the bottom again.

This morning I kinda hit another breaking point. Hot guy denied me. I just became so insecure and doubting of myself. I felt insecure because I so stupidly attach myself to people I literally have NO FUCKING CLUE ABOUT. I can see one picture of a good looking guy. And if they're a right type of "good looking," I'll fall in love. It's retarded, I now. I think it's because I love to adorn these mystery men with all these amazing personal qualities and I reimagine it so much that it's like I was fed this information from someone else or that I personally witnessed it. I felt like such a fraud, too. For reasons I don't feel like going into at the moment. I quickly came out of it, though. Thankfully. I'm better now. Thanks to my friends. I made some more friends, too. They're pretty awesome. :D 

Brenda called me from work today and we talked a lot since there weren't many customers there and I talked to some of her coworkers. Lmao. I love her.

( Guess you'll get some ranting after all. )

Let's see.. what's been going on in the life me me lately..

I left off on Saturday. Not a lot happened on Sunday. About the most exciting thing that happened was the lightning storm. It thundered and lightninged and rained like crazy. It was pretty cool. It's a nice change of pace from the usual snow and no snow. Most of the snow stayed on the ground, though. I love lightning storms. I'm just not too crazy about them when they're right on me. I prefer them in the distance. I think it's more fun looking straight ahead to watch lightning straight than having the look above. That tends to be dangerous.

Monday wasn't so great. My mom woke me up to tell me that my uncle passed out and was unresponsive. My parents rushed there right away. I was very worried but I went back to sleep after they left. My mom came back home and told me he was fine. Thank god. She told me that he said the respirator he was on made him feel weird, then he became unresponsive and the nurses tried to get him out of that state. He could hear them but couldn't respond, then he blacked out and randomly woke out of it later. Yeah, they sure are responsible caretakers. They're setting a lovely example of how to REALLY take care of people, unlike us who are "negligent" and "unfit." FUCK THEM. Since he's been there, he's fallen once and now this happened. While he was in our care, he's barely had any mishaps. Stupid fucks. Not to mention his "guardian" wouldn't answer any of her phones. My god, what a dumb bitch.

I borrowed Rock Band from my brother. It's a hell of a lot of fun. :D I'm pretty good at it and I'm only a beginner.  I didn't go to sleep again until around 11 am. I found that Richard has another MySpace floating around. One that's way more informative than his other one. So I was pretty thrilled about that. I slept until 6 pm. Lmao. Watched AI for the first time in a while. I hate when all my shows are on at the same time. We're low on VCRs so I can't tape my other shows. Even if I could, I'd be too lazy to ever watch them later. I'm such a retard like that. Luckily they have TV online. Bu really, same rules apply. Then I watched BB. I'm so glad Matty is off the block! I can't wait to see what the new twist is gonna be and what the alarm means. I just saw a commercial about it. They say something about Big Brother not letting the evicted houseguests leave and that that's just the beginning of it! Hope it's juicy!

Did I mention that the nice guy lawyer who interviewed me stabbed us in the back and is actually a gigantic douchebag? He says he believes my uncle is incompetent and should have an appointed guardian. Cocksucking bastard.

For the past few days, I've been serial adding people on MySpace again. I DO NOT do it to boost my friend count, I do it to make new friends. LUCKILY most of them added me back this time! Sweet. My luck is coming back to me. I thought it might have been my new, more optimistic profile and possible outlook and it may be the latter. As for the profile, I accidentally forgot to save that. But I since fixed it. Haha. I hope they actually talk to me. As for the ones who didn't add me, whatever to them. Ruuuuude.

I felt so tired come midnight. I just wanted to go to sleep. Even though I'd only been awake for six hours. I went to bed at about half past midnight.. fell asleep a little after 1.. and woke up at 4. Wow. Three hours. Woohoo. I hate that I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at night, yet during the day I can sleep for half of it. I tried going back to sleep but as always that was a bust. I just stayed awake and kept myself amused.

Lately I've been reminiscing about the good times I had not so long ago. Man, I remember how the end of August 2007 felt. I felt so free and happy. It was like the spell of high school broke and I realized finally that I am an amazing person and I am worthwhile. I became more confident and worked hard on bettering myself in more ways than one. I got to meet my cousin Donnie again. He was a lot of fun to be around. I hadn't seen him since I was 4 so I barely remembered him at all. Apparently I was crazy about him when I was younger. September was more of the same. With school going on without me, it forced me to think about that. I miss the good times I had in school. Especially senior year. I miss 8th hour study hall. I miss my friends, the times I had in school that were fun, of course the crushes. End of September Donnie came back. I was making a lot of new friends albeit online but still. I had my friends around me. I didn't feel lonely at all despite missing Richard like fucking crazy.

Everything felt new and exciting. I turned 19 and I had such a fantastic birthday. Many would consider a great 19th getting plastered with friends and getting laid but I had fun staying up until almost 6 AM; it still being dark out and the moon was directly above my head. It was gorgeous outside, there was a nice breeze. I jumped on the trampoline to celebrate my freedom. Because I could stay up that late and do that now. I didn't have to worry about going back to that oppressive school anymore or ever take orders from anybody again. I felt to alive. With fear of not having a birthday at all, waking up and knowing I'd have one was a lot more exciting. I just went to town with my mom and talked on the phone with friend while she got some gifts. Then later I celebrated my birthday with my family and even some extended family. Donnie left the next day and even that day was good. October remained a great month. I made more friends and even had a memorable Halloween.

End of October, beginning of November I came out of my graduate break early because my mom suggested to me this career path that she knew was right up my alley so I got right to work on that. December, kept working hard at it. I also continued to make friends on other venues. I forced myself to stay positive, even in the line of trouble. I was still able to breathe easy. It wasn't until December ended hat my ease went with it. And I refuse to let negative emotion take precedence of my life any longer.

I guess there are some golden moments in everyone's year. Mine for 2006 that I remember well was in December. I recall always wanting to go back to that month. It was flawless. But it seems like things are on an up hill climb for me. I just hope that's true and that I keep climbing.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Except I'm not exactly having the time of my life, but I've experienced worse.

I spent some time with Donnie since my last entry. I was worried that my sleep schedule and lack of any positive emotion in my life right now would get in the way of that but it's not.

Thursday was pretty ordinary. Xbox Live, The OC, trying to see shit on the computer and failing miserably. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown at the end of the day but I'm fine now.

Friday was definitely a step up. When I woke up, I had the house completely to myself. Donnie was with some friends, my brother was at work, my mom and dad were in town trying to exchange Rock Band, since the bass pedal broke. I didn't throw a huge party while they were gone. Please. Ever since the college epidemic swept the class of '07, I've been left as the only 19 year old in a 5 mile radius. Congrats to me for being the oldest teen of my town. It's not even about that. Being home alone is fun and allows me to feel free.

All I did was play on Live and talked to friends. I'm a Live addict. I won't lie. Recently, probably as of Wednesday or Tuesday to be exact, I've been playing the normal Campaign of F.E.A.R. I remember I only played so far and not long after I got the game, I quit for a while.

Now, it's what I play most often on Live, which I need to stop. I've been ignoring all my other games and my friends are disappointed. I feel bad. =[ Not just for them, but I'm also missing out on the action and fun. Did I mention I beat Ecco? Hard ass game. I never beat it in one try. I always used passwords. Not this time. Really only because that feature was retconned from this version. I'm proud of myself nonetheless!

I was in a deathmatch with two other dweebs on FEAR and I was totally kicking their ass and they both left the game. Pussies. What the fuck? The one time I'm owning people and they punk out. Well, whatever. I stayed until the end and claimed my victory. Even if it was a solid 12 minutes. They both left by 8 minutes in. I wanted to claim my victory, dammit. And claim it I did.

Megan and Jacob kept calling me at a ridiculous hour. Apparently Sheldon hadn't come home from his date yet, so they figured he was staying at his house. We three-way called Strommen and they left a long message on his voice mail. It was hilarious.

Today, I had the house to myself for the most part, too. Donnie was out, parents went to town, my brother was asleep. I played games. Fun fun. My parents went to town for my uncle and to pick up season four of The OC. I officially have the entire series! Wo0t! When they got back, my brother and I ran to my uncle's to drop off the groceries, fill syringes and feed the cats, etc.

I had NO idea how fucking cold it was here! When I went outside when we were about to leave, it was like a white hurricane out there. It was worse at my uncle's house. The roads near there were pretty much drifted over completely. It was crazy, but it was cool. I love that kind of weather. Just as long as we stay safe. It was really clear out too, which I guess is why we were having that kind of weather to begin with.

There's a new cat up there, he's white and orange and is really big, he's a loud whiner, but really friendly. Haha. I want some of them.

We made it back and we had brother bonding on the ride. We talked about getting stoned, so when I got back, I toked up some. I'm gonna try it again. Try not to get paranoid. So I'm gonna take it slow. Lame, I know, but I can't help it. So I played some more FEAR. I'm getting really far in that game. Got a lot of achievements. Then, I finished off season three of The OC and started on season four. Oh, Marissa. *sigh*

My brother had this game, Dead Rising, that he says he didn't really care for and was going to sell it. Well, before I knew that, I played it and I actually liked it. Hard as a bitch, but I liked it. Initially, he wasn't going to give it to me. But my mom and I talked him into it. Maybe my letting him have the Conker game that I bought and didn't care for without making him pay for it helped him change his mind. Either way, I'm happy.

Donnie still isn't back yet. But there's probably nothing to worry about, the roads are pretty bad and the drifting and winds are pretty violent, so he's probably staying with his friend.

4 am. I should probably get to sleep or something. Bah.

I'm technically not back yet. My computer is still a piece of shit. I can barely read what I'm typing, so here we go. I'm only doing this because if I were to wait a couple decades down the road when I finally get this invalid fixed, I don't have to make a ten thousand page update and wrack my brain trying to remember what I did and when. I have OCD like that.

Ever since I got Live, my sleep schedule has changed from normal for other people ; in bed at around 10 - 12, to normal for me; in bed any time after 5 AM. That's not necessarily good. I hate waking up in the middle of the day, a few hours from sunset. Although with the way the weather's been going, I haven't seen the sun in weeks, anyway. Above that, I feel extremely lethargic. My body aches, my head hurts, I feel sick.

But hey, Live is pretty wicked. Which is what I've been doing to kill boredom that being on a working computer usually takes care of, but mostly watching season three of The OC. That covers most of what happened on Monday. I'm improving a lot on my Street Fighter skills, mosly for Live. Competing against other real live people, often ninjas and savants, is a far different story than fighting against the computer. People have the margin for improvement and growth, whereas the margin for a computer is previously set. The story stays the same about me improving for other games, too. I'm getting pretty far in Ecco. I just love classic games. Many times I'd rather play the classics than the new ones.

Ecco is a hard bitch ass game. No wonder I barely got anywhere when I first played it when I was like five. Not to mention traumatizing. Especially to those with arachnophobia. No spiders, but plenty of Octopi and sea spiders. *shudder*

On Live, you have a Rep, which is a representation of your reputation on there. It's calculated in five stars. Everytime you play a game and/or someone marks you as a preferred player, your rep goes up. It fills up a star a little bit at a time. I believe I started off with three stars when I began. Well, I'm close to a full five, so I checked my Rep and yesterday, it said I had 100% positive rating. Well, this time I checked it said I had a 66% preferred rating, and 34% avoided me. I was floored. I didn't get it. I did nothing wrong to anybody. I was nice, didn't cheat. Hell, I even sucked at it compared to those people. What the fuck? What I also didn't understand was why my rating was higher than before if people were setting me as 'avoid'. Another thing is that if you give people a bad rating/avoid them, you have to give a reason. And you have a details section in your rep breakdown, and it gives you a percentage of what people who chose to avoid you gave a reason as to why they did that. You can choose from six reasons, and all mine read 0%. So, I'm completely confused. I thought it was a glitch or a mistake. But it's still like that, and I turned it off and on.

My guess is that maybe someone can choose to avoid you without lowering your Rep. I don't know for sure. I gave one person a bad Rep for talking shit, being an asshole and a bad sport. It says in the help that it 'may or may not affect your rep' if you avoid someone. I can understand separating the two entities, though. I just don't remember having that option. Maybe the next time I play with some douche, I'll pay more attention when I send him a bad rep.

On Tuesday, my mom found a way to secure me a copy of season four of The OC, since it was highly doubtful I'd be able to run and get it before the week was done. She bought it online at Best Buy and it's ready and reserved for me for eight days. I'll be getting it on Saturday. So, I'll probably have it before I'm finished with season three. I'm on disc 4/7.

That's what I did most of the day on Tuesday, too. I'm hella lazy. Just been feeling like shit, you know? Drew called and we talked for like two hours. Unfortunately, I shouldn't do that. That's the reason I got my phone turned off. Using it too much outside of free hours. I only have like less than 220 minutes left. I also watched American Idol and One Tree Hill. OTH is still good, but it's dramatically different from all the seasons. I'm assuming it's different from season four, too. Since I never saw season four. It just seems really toned down and too different. It just jumped into a whole new realm without anyone being able to get used to it.

That night, Megan and I talked for three hours. Longest phone call we had in forever. I'm glad we're able to do that. It's fun being able to talk about stuff and how things were back when we met. All the people we were friends with and who were around back then. That a lot of our friends and the people who we saw consider that one of the best times of their life. And now it's all gone and we're just all depressed about it. I guess the only thing that sucks more about it being gone is that we can't have it back to the way it was. It'll never be the same again.

I had a disturbing dream today. Unfortunately, I can't remember all of it. I remember at one point, some of my brother's friends come over and when I tell them I'm not going to college, they tell me I have to, that I MUST. And I argued with them, telling them I absolutely will not.

Then, another part of the dream, I'm in some room with a bunch of people I've never met. One of them attacks me and tries to stab me with a knife and ends up slashing my left wrist. After that, I left and told them all to stay in the room. I put the knife in the bathroom and bled a little on the counter and I told my brother and his friends what happened. I wasn't all frantic about it or concerned with the people or the person who did it. It was kinda just nonchalant, as I had left someone who tried to kill me in an unlocked room with windows unattended. We all go back there to find that they all left and we go out looking for them. All I remember is that the sun was just below the horizon and there was a gorgeous twilight.

I think I've been having weird dreams a lot lately. I just can't recollect them. Ever since Donnie came here and I've been sleeping in my own uncomfortable bed. I haven't seen or visited with Donnie much since he came here. I've just been feeling so crappy that I've been lazing around my room all day. Usually he leaves before I wake up and when he comes back at night, I'm on the phone or playing games.

Today is no exception. Still boring. Haven't felt like doing anything but getting farther in season three. Yay! I love The OC. I like it a lot more than Degrassi, actually. Okay, well this entry is getting long. I've had a boring three days, and look at how much I can go on about it?

So, CP2 wasn't exactly what I expected, but I don't give a damn anymore. And I know I sound like a greedy bitch, but I AM! :P At least I admit it. But I'm not really that greedy. If I had money, I'd buy everyone a million gifts. For real.

Anyhoo, aside from Married With Children season one and Burnout Paradise, which is WICKED AWESOME by the way; I got Halo 3 and XBOX LIVE!!! So, of course I fired that baby up right away. I couldn't set it up by myself 'cause I had to punch in 6 million numbers and find our network and blah blah blah. So, my brother helped me with that.

LUCKILY!!!! The name I had as my Gamertag was available on Xbox Live and I was able to keep it! I spent like two hours prior to my dad and brother coming home thinking of a name should I have gotten XBox Live. It's definitely the best I had come up with and I like it. I'm very satisfied. Want it? Just ask.

My brother wanted me to play with him and his friend Charles on Halo 3, but I wasn't very good, I wanted some practice first. I wanted to do other things, anyway. I mainly played around on Burnout Paradise and Revenge, as well as MKA. I kicked ass for my first matches on there, I was proud! My brother and his friend sent me friend invites, I accepted them. I downloaded a bunch of XBox Live Arcade demos, since I have no Microsoft Points, I can't buy the full games. Haha. I downloaded old school Sega games like Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II' HF, Streets of Rage 2, Sonic 2, and Sonic 1. Then, I called it a night.

The next day, I jumped on right away and played Halo 3. I'm actually pretty good at it for a newbie! I played against a bunch of new people for a couple hours. I played Slayer and there's this one guy with a really hot voice on there. I sent him a message and we talked. He was really nice! He even sent me a friend request, so of course I accepted. He's the first friend I made on there besides my brother and his friend. So, that's cool.

Later, my brother got home from his work's Christmas party and me, him and his friend played a bunch of games on Halo 3 live. It was a hell of a lot of fun. Very addicting. My brother says I'm really good for a beginner, my parents say so too. LMAO. During Team Slayer, some people on the other team were named R0SIE 0D0NNEL. LMAO. So random! I hated that match, though. I sucked on that one majorly.

I took a Halo 3 break last night. Played a bunch of my other games. Burnout Revenge; made some new friends there. Same with F.E.A.R. That game is a lot of fun live! I didn't think many people would be playing that game live, but there's quite a few on there. That's way hard. I may be lagging, or others are cheating. Came across a few cheaters on a few games already. Bastards. I also lagged a lot on Halo 3. Really annoying.

My mom and brother got my dad Rock Band. It's pretty cool. I'm not really into those kinda games but they're fun to watch. XD So, my family is really into video games if you haven't noticed. Haha. My dad and bro love the game.

Today is just completely fucking shitty. Don't even wanna talk about it at all. So, good day everybody! OH! And the LG15 finale had quite a twist ending!

Yo, yo, yo.

How's it going, everyone? I'm glad so many of you  have found me! There's a lot more stuff I need to "pack up" from GJ. Hopefully I can do it before it buys the farm for good. There's just so many memories I have there, and they're not only in my posts on my journal, but my friends' journals as well.

Let's see.. I've recently gotten back into arcade emulation gaming. XD Since I got DSL now (seven months ago.. but there's still things I haven't done since I got it..), I can download the arcade games much more easily. So, I went to town on a few games. I downloaded Street Fighter II on Wednesday night (Thurs. morning, actually..) and then on Thursday, I downloaded Sonic 1 and 2.. no real differences there.. moreso in Sonic 1, though.

Anyway, Street Fighter II on the arcade is wicked. Apparently, when I download it, I get a bunch of "clones" with it.. which are like hacks of normal ROMs. They did some pretty sweet things with it.

I dunno why, but Thursday was a lot of fun for me. It felt different. Like I came out of the bad atmosphere I had been in for the past couple weeks and I was in a much happier and fun disposition. I suddenly became enthralled with a bunch of guys that I didn't really notice before. GODDD.. I need some male attention. I'm glad I'm gay. =P

It was bitterly cold outside. It was clear out, and very windy. So, the snow was blowing hard, whether or not it was precipitating or not. It was drifting hardcore. It was actually pretty awesome. Someone ended up in the ditch down the road. =X My mom and I shoveled out the driveway. It was literally a pain in the back. Almost had a heartattack because it was so exhausting. But, we got it done in a hurry. It was so cool out there 'cause it was drifting and the moon was out. I love the moon! My neighbor was also snowblowing across the street. Wish he would have done that to our driveway. x_x

Being proactive, I also cleaned out the cans after that. I suggested to my mom that since we did my brother and dad a favor by doing that, we deserve Burger King. XD So, we had them bring some food from there home. They forgot my fries and lettuce on my sandwich. Rawr. Bastards. My mom told me how dysfunctional that place and the employees seem everytime she's went there. XD

I continued with my arcade gaming. :P

I went back to some old traditions today.. like making graphics! Which is a good thing, since I plan to make a living out of it relatively soon. I also got back into As The World Turns. I love that show. I spent a lot of today with my GJ to IJ/LJ transition as well as salvaging some GJ memories. My computer's files are so cluttered. Especially the desktop. So, I cleaned that up and organized my files, now there's no more mess!

I watched Ghost Whisperer and Moonlight later. Those shows are actually really good. They've become my new favorites. Especially Ghost Whisperer. Too bad that when I put in the tape to start taping, I FORGOT TO HIT RECORD. Argh!

My brother called and told me I could play the demo of Burnout Paradise on his 360. Well, when I went to his room in the basement, I noticed some strange squeaking/screeching noise that sounds kinda like a swing set. I made my mom come and listen, but by then, of course it stopped. I thought I was going crazy. Then, when I go back down there with my mom, so she can help me set up the channel, it's going on and we listen to it. We had no idea what it was. But then we figured out it was possibly the gas pipe. Well, when I was playing, when the furnace went off, so did the noise. So that was it. We need to get that fixed ASAP.

Burnout Paradise is okay. But you can't ram people like you can in Revenge. Sigh. But it's wicked cool! =D

A little while ago, I conjured up the lovely background you see here. Do you like it? I just wish IJ had a "fixed background" feature. Rawr! I also made this icon today. Which reminds me; I got my cellphone turned back on tonight at 10:06 pm! After pestering my mom to reactivate it, since we got the money now. My dad doesn't and will never know that the bill costed $300+ dollars. =X Which is the reason why it got shut off and took so long for us to be able to pay for it to turn it back on. My mom made me agree to not go overboard with the minutes again. I can't wait 'til I get my site up and make my own money and have my own phone plan. Then I can buy texting!! Whee!

Having the house to myself for a few hours does constitute for a good day in my opinion. I spent it watching soaps on SOAPNet. XD After taking a long shower/bath, of course.

I finally got some McDonald's food I'd been craving for a while. Mmm.. Then I watched American Idol. Today seemed really long and eventful, but I didn't really do a lot at all.

Me and Brenda talked on the phone for a long time. I love that girl. Gaby finally got to see The Countdown! I'm so happy! =D Hopefully she'll be getting an IJ tomorrow!

Earlier today, I was on eBay looking for these cool cellphone cases for my Motorola RAZR. They were hard plastic and clear. My mom helped me find 'em, since she found them before. The first time I saw them, my friend had a red one for her RAZR. I want one or some for CP2. I found some really cool ones, including some green ones I'd been looking for. Soo.. we'll see! =P Luckily, I found out the proper name for those cases are "Crystal cases," or clear, or hard cases. Good to know!

Congratulations to my friend, Jessikah. She gave birth to a baby boy, Connor Elias, today at 3 pm. I love you Kah! I'm extremely happy for you! =] <33333

Goodnight!