Woven Cognition

It's the last day of April. Sigh. What's the big deal, you ask? Nothing, really. For some reason, this month has brought me a lot of nice things. I met new people, made new friends, overcame obstacles and had a lot of fun. This month has been fantastic ever since the first day.But, here's to a whole bunch of other great months in the future!

I've been having a bittersweet week thus far. On Monday, I was bored for almost the entire day. I actually started playing on Halo 3 with friends I currently have. Normally, once I add someone as a friend on Xbox Live, I don't really play with them again. Which is probably why so many of them end up deleting me. But even so, they shouldn't. They should be just a little more patient with me. I can understand if your friends list is filling up and you wanna weed out the people you don't play with/talk to, but some of these people only have like 5 friends max. This isn't what this entry's about, though.

I played a few games on Forge with Gaby's brother and my other friend, Mitch. I didn't meet these two on Xbox Live, though. Well, Gaby's brother, technically I did. Whatever. Mitch and I played a few games later that night and one of my other friends, who added me from Halo 3 was online, so I sent him an invite to join us and he eventually came and played with us. It was a lot of fun. The guy's really cool. He's the one I wrote about in an earlier entry - the one I thought would ignore me but sent me a friend request instead. Hah.

We played a few rounds, and then they both had to leave so I went to bed after that. Unfortunately that day, I was also getting sick. My throat started to feel funny, so I started spraying Zicam in my throat. My brother was getting that feeling when we were bringing Chazz home, and now he's sick. I'm like a sickness magnet, so of course I'd be next. My throat got progressively worse and the next day it was unbearable. I woke up early, being unable to sleep any longer, plus I wanted to play with Gaby. She couldn't go on , her brother stayed home sick. What a coincidence. It's okay, I probably shouldn't have been talking anyway.

I napped a couple times throughout the day. Took some "tasteless" medicine you mix with a drink. It's not so tasteless. It's downright nauseating. Fuck that, I'm sticking with the throat spray. It hurt to talk, breathe and swallow. It hurt A LOT. I coulld barely talk at all. My cousin came over and she and my mom went out to eat and back to her place. My mom wanted to get away from my crazy uncle. I don't blame her one bit. I chilled at home and kept watch of things. My mom came back a couple of hours later and brought me back food and cough drops. I hadn't had a cough drop since that morning and I was DYING for one. After I ate, my throat felt a lot better. My cousin also let me have her jester hat she got when my brother, my dad and my brother's friend and her went down to Louisiana to get the shit my bro's ex gf stole from him back. Man, she remembered I wanted a hat like that and that happened 8 or so years ago. I'm surprised she still remembers. Haha. It's a cool hat, though! She's so generous. She paid for everything! I owe her a lot.

Mitch, his friend and I played Halo again that night. My friend never showed up. He said he was going to. Something musta came up. I did see him online during the day, though.

Today, my throat felt a lot better. I could talk again! But my other cold symptoms flared up. I had a stuffy nose, a cough and my head hurt. I lazed around today. Didn't play Xbox Live at al.. NOBODY'S ON! What the hell? I really wanna play with my new friend again. He's cool and fun to play with.

I'm getting my new TV on Saturday! Yay! That guardian bitch comes over on Friday. Luckily, I won't have to deal with her at all. Little Miss Obsessive music video's on tomorrow's TRL. It'll be a good next couple days!

Let's just say that these past few days have been absolutely amazing. It is a relief to finally be able to say that without sarcasm. All I have to say is thank you to whoever got me out of that depression mess.

Now, to elaborate; I'll start with Thursday night / Friday morning. I was watching Hostel on Showtime when I was considering going on Xbox Live to surprise my brother since I kinda have been avoiding it and have turned down all his requests for me to join him and his friends on there to play. I decided to return to Xbox Live and played Halo 3 with my brother and his friend, Chazz. I had a lot of fun! I'm getting back into the swing of it all and I don't give a shit what people say anymore. I won't let it ruin my fun. We played for a few hours. I had signal trouble at first, but it went away for the most part after a while.

The Heroic Map set is now free. I'm stoked. That was the original intention for buying those MPs a few months ago, but instead I bought Street Fighter II HF and Ecco the Dolphin instead. I didn't have enough points after that to buy it. Now it's free! Good things come to those who wait after all. I couldn't download it at the time, but I planned to later. After they signed off, I played FEAR, where I broke down more walls. I used to be shy on the mic and wouldn't talk to people I didn't know even if they talked to me first, I wouldn't even have the headset connected much of the time. Sometimes I'd have it connected, but muted. But this time I talked! It seems lame, but I think it's cool. It was great. I made some new friends. The first guy I talked to was British and had a thick accent. XD It was kinda hard to understand him sometimes, but it was all good.

Slept until 2, but woke up a few times before and thought it was like 7 at night, but it was only noon so I went back to bed. Haha. I wanted to watch the Degrassi Spring Break Movie. It was good.. but, it really wasn't a movie. It was just an hour long special. Movies, even made for TV movies are usually an hour and a half long without commercials. With commercials, 2 hours. Whatever. It was still good. Can't wait for new episodes next week.

I watched the videos of the games I played on Halo 3 the night before. Haha. Fun times. Took a bunch of screenshots, too.

I met this guy named Josh on MySpace on Tuesday the same way I met pretty much everyone else. But what wasn't the same was that he actually talks back to me unlike many other people! We messaged each other back and forth over the past few days. We talked about our lives, backgrounds, interests, being gay. XD All that. He added me on MSN and Yahoo last night/yesterday morning. We talked more about whatever. It's great getting to know him. He's such a great guy and he's only a year younger than me. One problem, he's taken. But you know, I'm more than happy to be friends with him.

Yesterday was such an incredible day. It was so fucking nice outside. The nicest day of the year so far. Warm, sunny and windy. The perfect trio. The night before, I asked my dad to fix my fan 'cause it's always so stuffy and warm in my room. He told me he was just gonna buy me a new one, which was really generous of him. My parents went up to my uncle's house while I was asleep, then came back and let me know they were going to town and I had to watch over the house. When they left I went outside and jumped on the tramp named Oline, which is just fine despite being outside for the duration of the long, cold winter. Surprising! I spent a lot of time outside and I felt so much better than I had all week... all month.. ALL YEAR! Being cooped up in my room during the winter sucks. What else am I to do, though? The fresh air and activity revitalized me.

When my parents came home, I ate and I talked to Josh and watched TV. Which is pretty much what I was doing before they came home, minus the eating. My new fan is slightly different than my old one, unfortunately. But it is new and it works great. It feels so nice to have a new, working fan. I hope it lasts a while. Especially knowing the way the summer is here..

Later, my parents, brother and I all played frisbee in the dark with this old '80s light up frisbee my mom won on eBay. It's not bad spending time with the family and I had fun. XD I was gonna go on my webcam but I got a headache. Bah. I didn't feel like it anymore. Talked to a million people for the rest of the night. On the phone, online and texting (online).

I just got added by this guy named Adrian and for once, soomeone who added me is cute!

Well, I'm gonna go to bed now since it's bright outside. Nyeh. Goodnight.. or morning, all! I'll keep you updated on my fabulous days to come!

Happy Easter, everyone!

I've been having a great Easter. My parents went all out this year. I really wasn't expecting much but they got me Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed for the 360 as well as three Halo 3 replicas and a basket of candy. They got my brother some movies and some candy as well. It's awesome. So far I've only played Mass Effect, which is way cool. I was afraid I wouldn't like it. The same goes for any new game I haven't played before.

That kept me pretty occupied all day. Before that, though, I was watching Zoey 101. Lmao. There was nothing else on. And dare I say it,  I actually like it. I suppose sometimes if I just sit and watch a show, the show turns out to be alright.

The weather was all over the place today. It was cloudy, then it snowed, then it was sunny, then it was snowy while it was cloudy and sunny. It was blowing all around. It was pretty cool. Looked like dandruff flying  in the wind. Then it cleared up totally and it's still clear but it's dark out now.

Then I had dinner with my family, including my uncle. Usually my brother and I run food up to my uncle after holiday dinners, that's not the case this year.

I hope you all had a great Easter as well!

Man, I have been feeling my stress catch up to me these past couple days. I've been really exhausted lately. It might be me forcing myself to change my sleep schedule to something more convenient, but I become unbearably exhausted by the time 9 rolls around and that's odd. I wake up at 8 - 10 AM.. Soo. I don't get that.

Wednesday was the big ol' twist for Big Brother. I was so excited to see what it was. But RIGHT when the show began, I fell asleep. BAH! My sleep pattern really loves to spite me. I missed about 40 minutes of it. But my mom taped it so I watched that part afterward. We ordered from Fox's 'cause they're amazing. The twist was pretty much what I envisioned and that's a good thing. Earlier, I randomly stumbled upon this Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on Newlyweds parody. It's so funny! I love Ashlee, and I'm pretty sure it's all in good fun. Not to be defamatory. But don't quote me on it. I SAID DON'T QUOTE ME, DAMMIT! Anyway, it's another thing I do to keep me from going back to the Dark Side™ as I have affectionately dubbed my negative moods.

Click. Click. Clicklcickclcicckclcckckck.

Damn the lack of embedding ability. I think the girl playing Ashlee looks so much like Jamie Lynn Spears.

I noticed that this change has caused me to have three new behaviors; mood swings, weird sleep patterns, and nonstop anger. You'll witness some of the latter in a later entry.

Next day was court. Luckily, I didn't have to go. But the hearing didn't go extraordinary. My mom and my uncle's neighbor, not the bad one, gave their testimony but were forced to leave before any of the opposing morons made theirs for whatever reason.. There's another hearing on the 19th.

I can't recall anything else of significance occuring on that day.. besides talking to Gaby, of course. :D Ooh, I'm finally back into watching As The World Turns. I missed that show. I hadn't been able to watch it for over a month. So much shit has happened so it's kinda hard to keep up. I also added this gorgeous guy on MySpace in hopes of being friends with him.

Friday's Degrassi was spectacular. Probably one of the best episodes I've seen in a while. One of the reasons I'm still watching. That and some syndicated shows I like such as Saved by the Bell and Sabrina are the only reasons I'll watch The N once South of Nowhere takes the dive. I passed out around 9. I am not exaggerating when I say that's the earliest I've gone to bed in probably five years at the very least.

Over the past few days I've been feeling myself come out of my depression/breakdown/crisis thing. But one thing I learned is that I guess I'm pretty fragile. Since the simplest things make me freak out as if I were back at the bottom again.

This morning I kinda hit another breaking point. Hot guy denied me. I just became so insecure and doubting of myself. I felt insecure because I so stupidly attach myself to people I literally have NO FUCKING CLUE ABOUT. I can see one picture of a good looking guy. And if they're a right type of "good looking," I'll fall in love. It's retarded, I now. I think it's because I love to adorn these mystery men with all these amazing personal qualities and I reimagine it so much that it's like I was fed this information from someone else or that I personally witnessed it. I felt like such a fraud, too. For reasons I don't feel like going into at the moment. I quickly came out of it, though. Thankfully. I'm better now. Thanks to my friends. I made some more friends, too. They're pretty awesome. :D 

Brenda called me from work today and we talked a lot since there weren't many customers there and I talked to some of her coworkers. Lmao. I love her.

( Guess you'll get some ranting after all. )

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Except I'm not exactly having the time of my life, but I've experienced worse.

I spent some time with Donnie since my last entry. I was worried that my sleep schedule and lack of any positive emotion in my life right now would get in the way of that but it's not.

Thursday was pretty ordinary. Xbox Live, The OC, trying to see shit on the computer and failing miserably. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown at the end of the day but I'm fine now.

Friday was definitely a step up. When I woke up, I had the house completely to myself. Donnie was with some friends, my brother was at work, my mom and dad were in town trying to exchange Rock Band, since the bass pedal broke. I didn't throw a huge party while they were gone. Please. Ever since the college epidemic swept the class of '07, I've been left as the only 19 year old in a 5 mile radius. Congrats to me for being the oldest teen of my town. It's not even about that. Being home alone is fun and allows me to feel free.

All I did was play on Live and talked to friends. I'm a Live addict. I won't lie. Recently, probably as of Wednesday or Tuesday to be exact, I've been playing the normal Campaign of F.E.A.R. I remember I only played so far and not long after I got the game, I quit for a while.

Now, it's what I play most often on Live, which I need to stop. I've been ignoring all my other games and my friends are disappointed. I feel bad. =[ Not just for them, but I'm also missing out on the action and fun. Did I mention I beat Ecco? Hard ass game. I never beat it in one try. I always used passwords. Not this time. Really only because that feature was retconned from this version. I'm proud of myself nonetheless!

I was in a deathmatch with two other dweebs on FEAR and I was totally kicking their ass and they both left the game. Pussies. What the fuck? The one time I'm owning people and they punk out. Well, whatever. I stayed until the end and claimed my victory. Even if it was a solid 12 minutes. They both left by 8 minutes in. I wanted to claim my victory, dammit. And claim it I did.

Megan and Jacob kept calling me at a ridiculous hour. Apparently Sheldon hadn't come home from his date yet, so they figured he was staying at his house. We three-way called Strommen and they left a long message on his voice mail. It was hilarious.

Today, I had the house to myself for the most part, too. Donnie was out, parents went to town, my brother was asleep. I played games. Fun fun. My parents went to town for my uncle and to pick up season four of The OC. I officially have the entire series! Wo0t! When they got back, my brother and I ran to my uncle's to drop off the groceries, fill syringes and feed the cats, etc.

I had NO idea how fucking cold it was here! When I went outside when we were about to leave, it was like a white hurricane out there. It was worse at my uncle's house. The roads near there were pretty much drifted over completely. It was crazy, but it was cool. I love that kind of weather. Just as long as we stay safe. It was really clear out too, which I guess is why we were having that kind of weather to begin with.

There's a new cat up there, he's white and orange and is really big, he's a loud whiner, but really friendly. Haha. I want some of them.

We made it back and we had brother bonding on the ride. We talked about getting stoned, so when I got back, I toked up some. I'm gonna try it again. Try not to get paranoid. So I'm gonna take it slow. Lame, I know, but I can't help it. So I played some more FEAR. I'm getting really far in that game. Got a lot of achievements. Then, I finished off season three of The OC and started on season four. Oh, Marissa. *sigh*

My brother had this game, Dead Rising, that he says he didn't really care for and was going to sell it. Well, before I knew that, I played it and I actually liked it. Hard as a bitch, but I liked it. Initially, he wasn't going to give it to me. But my mom and I talked him into it. Maybe my letting him have the Conker game that I bought and didn't care for without making him pay for it helped him change his mind. Either way, I'm happy.

Donnie still isn't back yet. But there's probably nothing to worry about, the roads are pretty bad and the drifting and winds are pretty violent, so he's probably staying with his friend.

4 am. I should probably get to sleep or something. Bah.

I'm technically not back yet. My computer is still a piece of shit. I can barely read what I'm typing, so here we go. I'm only doing this because if I were to wait a couple decades down the road when I finally get this invalid fixed, I don't have to make a ten thousand page update and wrack my brain trying to remember what I did and when. I have OCD like that.

Ever since I got Live, my sleep schedule has changed from normal for other people ; in bed at around 10 - 12, to normal for me; in bed any time after 5 AM. That's not necessarily good. I hate waking up in the middle of the day, a few hours from sunset. Although with the way the weather's been going, I haven't seen the sun in weeks, anyway. Above that, I feel extremely lethargic. My body aches, my head hurts, I feel sick.

But hey, Live is pretty wicked. Which is what I've been doing to kill boredom that being on a working computer usually takes care of, but mostly watching season three of The OC. That covers most of what happened on Monday. I'm improving a lot on my Street Fighter skills, mosly for Live. Competing against other real live people, often ninjas and savants, is a far different story than fighting against the computer. People have the margin for improvement and growth, whereas the margin for a computer is previously set. The story stays the same about me improving for other games, too. I'm getting pretty far in Ecco. I just love classic games. Many times I'd rather play the classics than the new ones.

Ecco is a hard bitch ass game. No wonder I barely got anywhere when I first played it when I was like five. Not to mention traumatizing. Especially to those with arachnophobia. No spiders, but plenty of Octopi and sea spiders. *shudder*

On Live, you have a Rep, which is a representation of your reputation on there. It's calculated in five stars. Everytime you play a game and/or someone marks you as a preferred player, your rep goes up. It fills up a star a little bit at a time. I believe I started off with three stars when I began. Well, I'm close to a full five, so I checked my Rep and yesterday, it said I had 100% positive rating. Well, this time I checked it said I had a 66% preferred rating, and 34% avoided me. I was floored. I didn't get it. I did nothing wrong to anybody. I was nice, didn't cheat. Hell, I even sucked at it compared to those people. What the fuck? What I also didn't understand was why my rating was higher than before if people were setting me as 'avoid'. Another thing is that if you give people a bad rating/avoid them, you have to give a reason. And you have a details section in your rep breakdown, and it gives you a percentage of what people who chose to avoid you gave a reason as to why they did that. You can choose from six reasons, and all mine read 0%. So, I'm completely confused. I thought it was a glitch or a mistake. But it's still like that, and I turned it off and on.

My guess is that maybe someone can choose to avoid you without lowering your Rep. I don't know for sure. I gave one person a bad Rep for talking shit, being an asshole and a bad sport. It says in the help that it 'may or may not affect your rep' if you avoid someone. I can understand separating the two entities, though. I just don't remember having that option. Maybe the next time I play with some douche, I'll pay more attention when I send him a bad rep.

On Tuesday, my mom found a way to secure me a copy of season four of The OC, since it was highly doubtful I'd be able to run and get it before the week was done. She bought it online at Best Buy and it's ready and reserved for me for eight days. I'll be getting it on Saturday. So, I'll probably have it before I'm finished with season three. I'm on disc 4/7.

That's what I did most of the day on Tuesday, too. I'm hella lazy. Just been feeling like shit, you know? Drew called and we talked for like two hours. Unfortunately, I shouldn't do that. That's the reason I got my phone turned off. Using it too much outside of free hours. I only have like less than 220 minutes left. I also watched American Idol and One Tree Hill. OTH is still good, but it's dramatically different from all the seasons. I'm assuming it's different from season four, too. Since I never saw season four. It just seems really toned down and too different. It just jumped into a whole new realm without anyone being able to get used to it.

That night, Megan and I talked for three hours. Longest phone call we had in forever. I'm glad we're able to do that. It's fun being able to talk about stuff and how things were back when we met. All the people we were friends with and who were around back then. That a lot of our friends and the people who we saw consider that one of the best times of their life. And now it's all gone and we're just all depressed about it. I guess the only thing that sucks more about it being gone is that we can't have it back to the way it was. It'll never be the same again.

I had a disturbing dream today. Unfortunately, I can't remember all of it. I remember at one point, some of my brother's friends come over and when I tell them I'm not going to college, they tell me I have to, that I MUST. And I argued with them, telling them I absolutely will not.

Then, another part of the dream, I'm in some room with a bunch of people I've never met. One of them attacks me and tries to stab me with a knife and ends up slashing my left wrist. After that, I left and told them all to stay in the room. I put the knife in the bathroom and bled a little on the counter and I told my brother and his friends what happened. I wasn't all frantic about it or concerned with the people or the person who did it. It was kinda just nonchalant, as I had left someone who tried to kill me in an unlocked room with windows unattended. We all go back there to find that they all left and we go out looking for them. All I remember is that the sun was just below the horizon and there was a gorgeous twilight.

I think I've been having weird dreams a lot lately. I just can't recollect them. Ever since Donnie came here and I've been sleeping in my own uncomfortable bed. I haven't seen or visited with Donnie much since he came here. I've just been feeling so crappy that I've been lazing around my room all day. Usually he leaves before I wake up and when he comes back at night, I'm on the phone or playing games.

Today is no exception. Still boring. Haven't felt like doing anything but getting farther in season three. Yay! I love The OC. I like it a lot more than Degrassi, actually. Okay, well this entry is getting long. I've had a boring three days, and look at how much I can go on about it?

Yesterday had me worried and happy all the same.

I know I'm headed for a nervous breakdown even though a lot of times, I feel in control. It's those times when I feel like I'm losing it that are building up and will ultimately do me in in the end.

I'm a major hypochondriac; yesterday I saw a bump under my right wrist beneath my skin. I had no idea what it was. It felt hard, like a bone. But me suffering from intense anxiety, paranoia and being a hypochondriac, I thought it was cancer. I FLIPPED OUT. I thought I was fucking doomed.

I was way stressed yesterday afternoon. My parents and brother were in town. I was home by myself. My fucking dog got ahold of something and was gonna chew it up. So I spent an hour trying to get it away from the bastard. Stupid dog. Bah. He needs to be disciplined. Majorly. I called my mom, asking how to get it away from him, but nothing worked. At one point, she randomly stopped answering the phone and I freaked then, because I was worried something bad happened. It sucks to realize that it's come to that point when something as simple as someone not answering their phone, that I completely freak out.

Before they left, my mom and dad looked at my bump and said it was a vein, but I had my doubts. Well, I eventually got it back from the dog. Luckily it wasn't anything important. They came home and brought me back The OC season three! :D I was psyched. And they also bought me 1600 Microsoft points for Live!

I watched the first disc of season three so far. I wanna stave it off as long as possible until I get season four.. And just my luck, my mom just found an ad for Best Buy that all four seasons are available for $17.. MOTHERFUCKER! I wish I would've known that. Instead of spending $40 or $50 bucks on it. Well, guess I'll get season four sometime this week.. YAY! At least I'll get that for $17..

We ordered from Fox's.. and like the last two times, I coincidentally got a major headache when I ate.. I dunno what it is. Bah. Bad fucking luck. Didn't help that I was still obsessing over the fucking bump. I felt fucking nauseous, so I practically passed out. I woke up a few hours later and I had a sleeping headache, or it was from the one that was coming. Felt like I got shot in the head. Took some pills.

It went away quite fast. I had to decide how I would spend my MP.. I wanted to buy Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II, and the new maps for Halo 3.. which would amount to 2000 points.. I wanted the games more than the maps, so that's what I bought. Good news is, is that I'm only 400 pts away from the new maps as well. :D Unfortunately SFII lags like a mofo on Live. Hopefully it won't always be like that..

FORTUNATELY!!! My mom took another look at the bump on my arm and told me it was a TENDON. I was SO FUCKING RELIEVED! I KNEW it felt like a bone. I asked her why it was so pronounced, she tells me it's because I'm a guy, but I told her there was no bump on my other arm and that it wasn't always like that and she suggested it was inflamed. Which made sense because my hand had been hurting after playing a lot of Tekken 2 the night before and it was only a little after that that I noticed the bump. Plus, I've been using my hands a lot.. typing.. gaming especially.. so it makes sense. My other hand hurts a little, too. I put an ice pack on it and it helped the pain go away for a while.

My cousin Donnie's coming today. Hopefully not 'til like midnight. I've been working on cleaning and helping out before he comes. Been working yesterday and today. I only got five hours of sleep. I'm exhausted. I'll take a nap after the Super Bowl, which I'm currently watching now. The halftime show is going to start after the next commercial. GO GIANTS! The commercials have been pretty rad. XD

Well, I'm gonna jet before it starts. Later!

So, CP2 wasn't exactly what I expected, but I don't give a damn anymore. And I know I sound like a greedy bitch, but I AM! :P At least I admit it. But I'm not really that greedy. If I had money, I'd buy everyone a million gifts. For real.

Anyhoo, aside from Married With Children season one and Burnout Paradise, which is WICKED AWESOME by the way; I got Halo 3 and XBOX LIVE!!! So, of course I fired that baby up right away. I couldn't set it up by myself 'cause I had to punch in 6 million numbers and find our network and blah blah blah. So, my brother helped me with that.

LUCKILY!!!! The name I had as my Gamertag was available on Xbox Live and I was able to keep it! I spent like two hours prior to my dad and brother coming home thinking of a name should I have gotten XBox Live. It's definitely the best I had come up with and I like it. I'm very satisfied. Want it? Just ask.

My brother wanted me to play with him and his friend Charles on Halo 3, but I wasn't very good, I wanted some practice first. I wanted to do other things, anyway. I mainly played around on Burnout Paradise and Revenge, as well as MKA. I kicked ass for my first matches on there, I was proud! My brother and his friend sent me friend invites, I accepted them. I downloaded a bunch of XBox Live Arcade demos, since I have no Microsoft Points, I can't buy the full games. Haha. I downloaded old school Sega games like Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II' HF, Streets of Rage 2, Sonic 2, and Sonic 1. Then, I called it a night.

The next day, I jumped on right away and played Halo 3. I'm actually pretty good at it for a newbie! I played against a bunch of new people for a couple hours. I played Slayer and there's this one guy with a really hot voice on there. I sent him a message and we talked. He was really nice! He even sent me a friend request, so of course I accepted. He's the first friend I made on there besides my brother and his friend. So, that's cool.

Later, my brother got home from his work's Christmas party and me, him and his friend played a bunch of games on Halo 3 live. It was a hell of a lot of fun. Very addicting. My brother says I'm really good for a beginner, my parents say so too. LMAO. During Team Slayer, some people on the other team were named R0SIE 0D0NNEL. LMAO. So random! I hated that match, though. I sucked on that one majorly.

I took a Halo 3 break last night. Played a bunch of my other games. Burnout Revenge; made some new friends there. Same with F.E.A.R. That game is a lot of fun live! I didn't think many people would be playing that game live, but there's quite a few on there. That's way hard. I may be lagging, or others are cheating. Came across a few cheaters on a few games already. Bastards. I also lagged a lot on Halo 3. Really annoying.

My mom and brother got my dad Rock Band. It's pretty cool. I'm not really into those kinda games but they're fun to watch. XD So, my family is really into video games if you haven't noticed. Haha. My dad and bro love the game.

Today is just completely fucking shitty. Don't even wanna talk about it at all. So, good day everybody! OH! And the LG15 finale had quite a twist ending!

I'm in the middle of the LG15 season 2 finale and eagerly awaiting part 3/4 to be put on the website. It's definitely a good day for me!

My clothes finally arrived. Christmas Part 2 was originally planned for tomorrow, but I'm just too anxious to get my gifts and for it to be done and over with. The whole prospect of it just lost its fun after a couple weeks passed following Christmas. All the drama, bitching, waiting, and bad things happening just ruins everything and it doesn't even feel like Christmas anymore. For all of you that don't know, my family had a mini Christmas on the actual Christmas day due to lack of money; Christmas Part 2 is supposed to be a more fulfilling Christmas..

So, it just isn't even fun anymore. Whatever. So I got to "get" my clothes today instead of waiting to get them tomorrow. Which, we then decided we might as well have CP2 today. My clothes are awesome, by the way. Well, my mom wants it to be traditionally ceremonious, so we're waiting for my dad and brother to get home from work until I open the rest of my gifts. So far I got my clothes, Married With Children season one on DVD and Burnout Paradise. BP is WICKED! I absolutely love it. I'm probably getting XBox Live.. so I'm thinking of a cool Gamertag right now!

Ugh. It was SO nice and bright and clear outside today, and now it's snowing like crazy. Damn snow. Blah. Have a good Friday, everyone!

I've changed my custom personal-made layout for the time being. I'm simply experimenting. I really hope IJ steps up and makes their other layouts more customizable. Of course, I'm sure I need to pay for it.. >>

My background with this layout would be so boss. I hate the other layout. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be that cool coupled together, but I'd still like to tweak some things and maybe make a different background. Whatever. CUSTOMIZATION WOULD BE COOL!

I'm still finding it hard to believe Heath is gone. What the hell? So unbelievable.

What do I have to look forward to? Well, Christmas Part 2 is Saturday.. I can't help but feel less than excited. I just feel like I don't deserve to or that I shouldn't.

I'm really sick of all the bad luck my family has to face. I just need to drive to the middle of a desert and blow up because I feel that all this pressure from the weight I'm carrying is crushing my shoulders. I must set aside my humbleness; most people probably would have broken by now from all the stress that I've had to deal with but I'm still going. I think if something doesn't happen, I'm going to snap. Knowing me and knowing how long this has been building up, it's going to be a very destructive paroxysm.

The Donnas CD continues to kick ass. I'm desperate for new music. My playlist consists of songs I've heard to death. Sadly, it also consists of songs I hate. Whether I always hated them or stopped liking them over time is anyone's guess. I'm eagerly waiting for Ashlee Simpson's new CD - "Bittersweet World" to come out in March. Although I hear from Amazon that it's coming out February 19th. Hmm..

I'm getting into Cobra Starship. I like their music and their attitude. They don't care what everyone else thinks and they do their own thing. Plus, they love the gay people and in my opinion, that makes for a good band.

FedEx tricked me. They came here today. Not to deliver my AE clothes, but to drop off my brother's old Xbox 360, which he sent in for repairs. While it was gone, he bought an Elite. So now my dad has one. But, anyway. The tracking system at AE.com is WACK. According to it, it's been arriving at different ports at the same time and going in circles. Uhm.. okay? Whatever.. Better be here tomorrow.

Shit. 2:22 already. Night!

Mannn.. I'm so pissed off! The Packers lost! =[

Bah, whatever. With the streak they went on this season, they'll be at next year's Super Bowl for sure. :P At least they won't have to deal with the cheating Patriots. I hope NYG kills 'em.

Today has been sooooo boring! Well, I did keep myself entertained with playing Street Fighter.. The rest of the day's really kind of a blur to me. But, today is my brother's 30th birthday! I made him a Halo 3 themed card and "I" got him The Donnas' newest CD - Bitchin', which I will be borrowing. Then I wrapped it and put it all together.

I'm officially five seconds away from breaking this keyboard. I HATE IT SO MUCH! Ugh. I can't wait for the LG15 season 2 finale on Friday! I've also watched some random SF things on YouTube to keep myself from being bored.

Okay, anyway.. I really need to get around to modifying my IJ and LJ profile wise. My clothes haven't arrived yet. But I saw UPS and FedEx trucks cruising past my house today. The tracker on AE's website says it still hasn't left New Berlin since Friday.. so maybe it closed for the weekend, possibly since it's MLK day. Whatevs.

I'm in a pretty good mood today, so I'm happy for that!

Later!

I had a much better day today than yesterday. The refinance money FINALLY came to us in the mail today. It was funny, because my mom stepped out for a few minutes and asked me to watch for the UPS guy to come and sign the paper if she wasn't back in time. Well, she came back and they hadn't come yet. We saw the UPS truck go down the lane next to my house, and my dad opened the door and there it was in the doorway. I KNEW I heard a noise of some sort. Strange they didn't ask for a signature, or even ring the doorbell at least. But, whatever. I'm not complaining.

Well, last week Friday I was looking at AE.com at the clothes I wanted for Christmas part 2, and the prices were at an incredibly low price! So I told my mom about it ASAP, and I even found another shirt for a good deal. They were only available on the website, but my mom didn't have enough money in her account to pay for it. So, we had to wait 'til today to buy them. I was worried they'd no longer be available, but they were. And she ordered 'em. Wo0t!

My brother got an XBox 360 Elite. I'm jealous, but it's cool! Then we got food from Fox's. Oh my god, their food is orgasmic. I love ordering from there. I was stuffed. It's rare that that happens to me. I spent the day watching SOAP Net. Lmao. Then I watched American Idol. Entertaining as always. And some hot guys went through. Yay! I hope there's even more that'll stick around for a long time!

I had an enormous headache today, and I ended up taking a lot of aspirin for it. Finally, it's gone. Watched One Tree Hill also. I need to watch the 4th season. This season is so much different than the others, but it's good. By the way.. Omgwtfk-fed?

P.S. I miss Richard. ;_;