Woven Cognition

I had two mundane, yet interesting dreams; in one of them, I somehow got a hold of the WHS '07-'08 yearbook. I was surprised to have it in the dream. I didn't think you could have yearbooks for the years after you graduated. I was at the school at the time. The yearbook itself looked  like some paperback textbook from the '80s with a purple and holographic cover. I was way stoked to see Richard in there, but I was gonna wait 'til later to look at him. Unfortunately, I did not own the book as it turned out. My mom was there for some reason and she said she couldn't pay for it. I was pissed.

My next dream was really random. It had an uncorrelated effect on me as far as I can tell. But I was playing Sonic CD, and I made it to the Special Stage and I believe I even questioned its authenticity within the dream. It was different; in dream world Sonic CD, you were always Super Sonic during the Special Stage. The stage itself was like playing Phelios, they were flying above some landscape and Tails was there and Super Sonic looked like normal Sonic except he had wings. I knew that was peculiar. For some reason, gothic lettering floated around the screen. "CD" floated by Sonic and I couldn't tell what was floating by Tails. It was really random. You all probably have no idea what I'm going on about.

For some reason, it left me feeling good when I woke up. My mom woke me up to tell me she and my dad were going to visit my uncle in town again. I guess it just reminded me of simpler, happier times. When all the problems that constantly resonate in my head failed to present itself. I realized it's possible to go back to being happy and prevent bad things from happening. Right now, that's what I'm living on.

Right now, I'm crushing on Jordan Belfi. Props to you if you know who I'm talking about. I'll try not to go overboard. It's just so much healthier and better to not be infatuated with famous people. If I had real men in my life, I could avoid that.

No Air by Jordin Sparks IS SUCH A GOOD SONG! I've been getting a lot of new songs lately. I love it. I have been in dire need of new music. All my current songs were becoming extremely repetitive.

I feel like I'm slowly recovering from my low point. I feel like I'm in the same position I was in two years ago. I had a huge fall out at the beginning of 2006. It was awful. I felt like I would never climb out of it. But I did. I felt so strong and happy after that. I only hope I can come out of this stronger than ever, too.

Doesn't it seem like all I ever update about is how I sit on my ass playing Xbox Live and watching The OC? Well hey, until I start my career as a computer graphic artist, this is one of the last chances I get to be lazy all the time. Sue me. It's entertaining to me.

Yesterday, I did more than that. My entire family, including Donnie, went out to eat. First time I did that in like years. It was a lot of fun. The restaurant was pretty much vacant due to the extreme cold and drifting. It was about 30-40 degrees below zero. It was really nice. I've learned that being with my family isn't always a lame affair and most of the time, dare I say it, is actually pleasant.

After that, I did my usual impenetrable combo of Xbox Live and The OC. Later on, I played a game of Yahtzee with my mom and Donnie, didn't win. Haha. Mainly because I was so tired. But I did pretty well for not having played in like eight years. Dakota, my husky, ripped part of my brother's Samantha Fox poster since he was in the basement due to the cold. He wasn't happy to hear about that today. My mom's getting him a new one from eBay. What would we do without online auctions? More dog drama. When my mom took him back outside, he almost got away. Luckily, he came back to her.

I spent today being my lazy self once again. FEAR freezes on me sometimes. It's only happened twice recently, but it still annoys me. I'm getting close to the end. I truly underestimated that game. I'm also coming to the end of The OC. Sigh. The show ended twice for me. At the end of season three and four. The show is just so different in the fourth season than it was in the previous three. At first glance, I wish the series was still going on but then I realize it was about time for the show to end. Some good shows don't know when to quit and they go on far past its expiration date and then people can't wait for it to be over. I didn't want that to happen to The OC. By the way, I'd totally tap Kaitlin's tennis instructor. DAMN!

Today is Donnie's last full day in Wisconsin. He was gone gambling most of the day with his sister. Ten days seemed pretty daunting at first but now it seems like they flew by and were over before I was ready. Then I remember he came on the day of the Super Bowl and it seems like a long ass time ago. Does that ever happen to you? Two events that happen on the same day, one seems like it happened forever ago and the other seems like it happened a few seconds ago? Or maybe one thing happened recently, and another happened long ago, but it feels like the opposite? Happens to me all the time. I got to spend a lot of time with him, so I'm glad about that. Plus, he'll be back again soon enough. Either in a few months or in July.

Big Brother 9 starts tomorrow!! Well, technically later today but it's still Monday to me. LG15 season three started today, but I didn't watch. Because I CAN'T. Didn't get to watch the Community week shit, either. I'm not so bummed. Didn't seem that interesting to begin with.

Well, I'm gonna go. Seeing as how my last entries were about 120 pages long and I haven't received comments kinda tells me I'm a bit wordy and that no one cares to read about my boring drivel. Sorry about not commenting/reading about you guys recently. Believe me, if I could, I would. Before I forget. We think it's the video card, so we're getting new ones soon. Alright. later.

Yesterday had me worried and happy all the same.

I know I'm headed for a nervous breakdown even though a lot of times, I feel in control. It's those times when I feel like I'm losing it that are building up and will ultimately do me in in the end.

I'm a major hypochondriac; yesterday I saw a bump under my right wrist beneath my skin. I had no idea what it was. It felt hard, like a bone. But me suffering from intense anxiety, paranoia and being a hypochondriac, I thought it was cancer. I FLIPPED OUT. I thought I was fucking doomed.

I was way stressed yesterday afternoon. My parents and brother were in town. I was home by myself. My fucking dog got ahold of something and was gonna chew it up. So I spent an hour trying to get it away from the bastard. Stupid dog. Bah. He needs to be disciplined. Majorly. I called my mom, asking how to get it away from him, but nothing worked. At one point, she randomly stopped answering the phone and I freaked then, because I was worried something bad happened. It sucks to realize that it's come to that point when something as simple as someone not answering their phone, that I completely freak out.

Before they left, my mom and dad looked at my bump and said it was a vein, but I had my doubts. Well, I eventually got it back from the dog. Luckily it wasn't anything important. They came home and brought me back The OC season three! :D I was psyched. And they also bought me 1600 Microsoft points for Live!

I watched the first disc of season three so far. I wanna stave it off as long as possible until I get season four.. And just my luck, my mom just found an ad for Best Buy that all four seasons are available for $17.. MOTHERFUCKER! I wish I would've known that. Instead of spending $40 or $50 bucks on it. Well, guess I'll get season four sometime this week.. YAY! At least I'll get that for $17..

We ordered from Fox's.. and like the last two times, I coincidentally got a major headache when I ate.. I dunno what it is. Bah. Bad fucking luck. Didn't help that I was still obsessing over the fucking bump. I felt fucking nauseous, so I practically passed out. I woke up a few hours later and I had a sleeping headache, or it was from the one that was coming. Felt like I got shot in the head. Took some pills.

It went away quite fast. I had to decide how I would spend my MP.. I wanted to buy Ecco the Dolphin, Street Fighter II, and the new maps for Halo 3.. which would amount to 2000 points.. I wanted the games more than the maps, so that's what I bought. Good news is, is that I'm only 400 pts away from the new maps as well. :D Unfortunately SFII lags like a mofo on Live. Hopefully it won't always be like that..

FORTUNATELY!!! My mom took another look at the bump on my arm and told me it was a TENDON. I was SO FUCKING RELIEVED! I KNEW it felt like a bone. I asked her why it was so pronounced, she tells me it's because I'm a guy, but I told her there was no bump on my other arm and that it wasn't always like that and she suggested it was inflamed. Which made sense because my hand had been hurting after playing a lot of Tekken 2 the night before and it was only a little after that that I noticed the bump. Plus, I've been using my hands a lot.. typing.. gaming especially.. so it makes sense. My other hand hurts a little, too. I put an ice pack on it and it helped the pain go away for a while.

My cousin Donnie's coming today. Hopefully not 'til like midnight. I've been working on cleaning and helping out before he comes. Been working yesterday and today. I only got five hours of sleep. I'm exhausted. I'll take a nap after the Super Bowl, which I'm currently watching now. The halftime show is going to start after the next commercial. GO GIANTS! The commercials have been pretty rad. XD

Well, I'm gonna jet before it starts. Later!