Woven Cognition

Alright. Here we go again. TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON IN MY BORING LIFE!! For the last time on here!

Let's see.. I left off on Easter. Both of my video games are awesome. If I hadn't stated that already. Thank god, too. I was worried they wouldn't be good, knowing my luck..

I still have been kinda paranoid about my health. But I know there's nothing wrong with me, so I just need to convince myself that. I am getting better though, feeling better physically and mentally.

Unfortunately, my sleep schedule keeps getting later and later and because my bed isn't the most comfortable bed ever, I keep waking up with a bad headache and neck pain. Blah.

Well, I'm officially announcing that I am over Richard. I know, I know. It's a huge shock. I bet a lot of you don't even know who I'm talking about, though. Haha. Thanks to GJ going down.  For me, the only thing that can break a crush is another man. But, since I haven't seen Richard in nearly a year, I suppose that'll do it, too.

Now, I'm searching for new guys. I've been making, or attempting to make new friends on MySpace. Hopefully t all works out.

I've been having some vivid dreams again. In one of them, I was in the Big Brother house again. I dunno if I talked about the other one I had a while ago. Anyway, in this one I was in the HOH room and I was stupefied because I was actually in the BB house and I was on TV. It was  a surreal feeling and above all, I was the first HOH of the season. It was pretty cool. XD

One night I had three dreams, the first one I was back in the trailer and there was some homophobe man sitting at the kitchen table antagonizing me and bossing me around and no one in my family would do anything about it, so I got a shotgun and killed him. The next one was interesting, I was at the trailer again and we were being attacked by really fat, evil pigeons. So, me and Kah ran to a truck and we started being attacked, so Kah used her powers to "purify" the truck, which meant making it spin in the air like a tornado to get rid of them. LMAO. So random. The last one I barely remember, I was at my current house and it had to do with my family sitting at the table and my parakeet. That's all I remember.

Brenda, Moriah and I also prank called people on Saturday. Good times for sure! XD

Today was the best day I had in a long time. I woke up early and played on Xbox Live with Gaby and we talked on there. It's been a while since we did that. It was a lot of fun! After that, I listened to music and found a great guy and just chilled out. It was great. I only had four hours of sleep, so I went back to bed after that for a few hours. The weather is amazing. It was supposed to snow, but it didn't.  Woke up, watched American Idol and Big Brother and that special about how you can live to be 150 years old. Yes, it was most definitely a good start to April. Besides having a headache.

New music on MySpace and YouTube videos have been keeping me happy. Yay broadband! I've been way more active on MySpace, too. It really is a lot of fun and I'm also introducing my friends to each other. I love doing that, and I love meeting new friends.



So, this is it, folks. I'm leaving IJ and LJ.. blogging is just becoming too much of a hassle. I just want to live and not have to worry about documenting it. If you want to stay in contact with me, check my userinfo page. Bye!














Gotcha. APRIL FOOLS!!

Let's see.. what's been going on in the life me me lately..

I left off on Saturday. Not a lot happened on Sunday. About the most exciting thing that happened was the lightning storm. It thundered and lightninged and rained like crazy. It was pretty cool. It's a nice change of pace from the usual snow and no snow. Most of the snow stayed on the ground, though. I love lightning storms. I'm just not too crazy about them when they're right on me. I prefer them in the distance. I think it's more fun looking straight ahead to watch lightning straight than having the look above. That tends to be dangerous.

Monday wasn't so great. My mom woke me up to tell me that my uncle passed out and was unresponsive. My parents rushed there right away. I was very worried but I went back to sleep after they left. My mom came back home and told me he was fine. Thank god. She told me that he said the respirator he was on made him feel weird, then he became unresponsive and the nurses tried to get him out of that state. He could hear them but couldn't respond, then he blacked out and randomly woke out of it later. Yeah, they sure are responsible caretakers. They're setting a lovely example of how to REALLY take care of people, unlike us who are "negligent" and "unfit." FUCK THEM. Since he's been there, he's fallen once and now this happened. While he was in our care, he's barely had any mishaps. Stupid fucks. Not to mention his "guardian" wouldn't answer any of her phones. My god, what a dumb bitch.

I borrowed Rock Band from my brother. It's a hell of a lot of fun. :D I'm pretty good at it and I'm only a beginner.  I didn't go to sleep again until around 11 am. I found that Richard has another MySpace floating around. One that's way more informative than his other one. So I was pretty thrilled about that. I slept until 6 pm. Lmao. Watched AI for the first time in a while. I hate when all my shows are on at the same time. We're low on VCRs so I can't tape my other shows. Even if I could, I'd be too lazy to ever watch them later. I'm such a retard like that. Luckily they have TV online. Bu really, same rules apply. Then I watched BB. I'm so glad Matty is off the block! I can't wait to see what the new twist is gonna be and what the alarm means. I just saw a commercial about it. They say something about Big Brother not letting the evicted houseguests leave and that that's just the beginning of it! Hope it's juicy!

Did I mention that the nice guy lawyer who interviewed me stabbed us in the back and is actually a gigantic douchebag? He says he believes my uncle is incompetent and should have an appointed guardian. Cocksucking bastard.

For the past few days, I've been serial adding people on MySpace again. I DO NOT do it to boost my friend count, I do it to make new friends. LUCKILY most of them added me back this time! Sweet. My luck is coming back to me. I thought it might have been my new, more optimistic profile and possible outlook and it may be the latter. As for the profile, I accidentally forgot to save that. But I since fixed it. Haha. I hope they actually talk to me. As for the ones who didn't add me, whatever to them. Ruuuuude.

I felt so tired come midnight. I just wanted to go to sleep. Even though I'd only been awake for six hours. I went to bed at about half past midnight.. fell asleep a little after 1.. and woke up at 4. Wow. Three hours. Woohoo. I hate that I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at night, yet during the day I can sleep for half of it. I tried going back to sleep but as always that was a bust. I just stayed awake and kept myself amused.

Lately I've been reminiscing about the good times I had not so long ago. Man, I remember how the end of August 2007 felt. I felt so free and happy. It was like the spell of high school broke and I realized finally that I am an amazing person and I am worthwhile. I became more confident and worked hard on bettering myself in more ways than one. I got to meet my cousin Donnie again. He was a lot of fun to be around. I hadn't seen him since I was 4 so I barely remembered him at all. Apparently I was crazy about him when I was younger. September was more of the same. With school going on without me, it forced me to think about that. I miss the good times I had in school. Especially senior year. I miss 8th hour study hall. I miss my friends, the times I had in school that were fun, of course the crushes. End of September Donnie came back. I was making a lot of new friends albeit online but still. I had my friends around me. I didn't feel lonely at all despite missing Richard like fucking crazy.

Everything felt new and exciting. I turned 19 and I had such a fantastic birthday. Many would consider a great 19th getting plastered with friends and getting laid but I had fun staying up until almost 6 AM; it still being dark out and the moon was directly above my head. It was gorgeous outside, there was a nice breeze. I jumped on the trampoline to celebrate my freedom. Because I could stay up that late and do that now. I didn't have to worry about going back to that oppressive school anymore or ever take orders from anybody again. I felt to alive. With fear of not having a birthday at all, waking up and knowing I'd have one was a lot more exciting. I just went to town with my mom and talked on the phone with friend while she got some gifts. Then later I celebrated my birthday with my family and even some extended family. Donnie left the next day and even that day was good. October remained a great month. I made more friends and even had a memorable Halloween.

End of October, beginning of November I came out of my graduate break early because my mom suggested to me this career path that she knew was right up my alley so I got right to work on that. December, kept working hard at it. I also continued to make friends on other venues. I forced myself to stay positive, even in the line of trouble. I was still able to breathe easy. It wasn't until December ended hat my ease went with it. And I refuse to let negative emotion take precedence of my life any longer.

I guess there are some golden moments in everyone's year. Mine for 2006 that I remember well was in December. I recall always wanting to go back to that month. It was flawless. But it seems like things are on an up hill climb for me. I just hope that's true and that I keep climbing.

I had a much better day today than yesterday. The refinance money FINALLY came to us in the mail today. It was funny, because my mom stepped out for a few minutes and asked me to watch for the UPS guy to come and sign the paper if she wasn't back in time. Well, she came back and they hadn't come yet. We saw the UPS truck go down the lane next to my house, and my dad opened the door and there it was in the doorway. I KNEW I heard a noise of some sort. Strange they didn't ask for a signature, or even ring the doorbell at least. But, whatever. I'm not complaining.

Well, last week Friday I was looking at AE.com at the clothes I wanted for Christmas part 2, and the prices were at an incredibly low price! So I told my mom about it ASAP, and I even found another shirt for a good deal. They were only available on the website, but my mom didn't have enough money in her account to pay for it. So, we had to wait 'til today to buy them. I was worried they'd no longer be available, but they were. And she ordered 'em. Wo0t!

My brother got an XBox 360 Elite. I'm jealous, but it's cool! Then we got food from Fox's. Oh my god, their food is orgasmic. I love ordering from there. I was stuffed. It's rare that that happens to me. I spent the day watching SOAP Net. Lmao. Then I watched American Idol. Entertaining as always. And some hot guys went through. Yay! I hope there's even more that'll stick around for a long time!

I had an enormous headache today, and I ended up taking a lot of aspirin for it. Finally, it's gone. Watched One Tree Hill also. I need to watch the 4th season. This season is so much different than the others, but it's good. By the way.. Omgwtfk-fed?

P.S. I miss Richard. ;_;

A lot happened today. Definitely more productive than any other day in a while.

Well, this morning my mom was admiring the snowy landscape outside and requested that we go on a walk around the block. I didn't want to at first, but I never do anything with my mom, so I did. All around my house, new houses and shit are going up, and there's a road wrapping around our property and beyond, so we walked there. It was fun, despite being reminded of all the privacy taken away from us. Our house is so secluded, though. Hidden behind hills and trees, so it's good.

After that, I voluntarily shoveled out the entire driveway. Surprising everyone that I'd actually take initiative in doing something. I did a pretty damn good job, too. I was exhausted when I finished. Then, I took a shower and ate.

Before all that, I made this journal; my first IJ. I've customized it a bit, tweaked the features. I'm trying to make it look wicked cool. I took an IQ test. It says I'm a "bright mastermind." My IQ is 127. Wow.

I figured out I'm still very much in love with Richard. He's amazing and I'd do anything to be with him.

Later, y'all.