Woven Cognition

I've changed my custom personal-made layout for the time being. I'm simply experimenting. I really hope IJ steps up and makes their other layouts more customizable. Of course, I'm sure I need to pay for it.. >>

My background with this layout would be so boss. I hate the other layout. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be that cool coupled together, but I'd still like to tweak some things and maybe make a different background. Whatever. CUSTOMIZATION WOULD BE COOL!

I'm still finding it hard to believe Heath is gone. What the hell? So unbelievable.

What do I have to look forward to? Well, Christmas Part 2 is Saturday.. I can't help but feel less than excited. I just feel like I don't deserve to or that I shouldn't.

I'm really sick of all the bad luck my family has to face. I just need to drive to the middle of a desert and blow up because I feel that all this pressure from the weight I'm carrying is crushing my shoulders. I must set aside my humbleness; most people probably would have broken by now from all the stress that I've had to deal with but I'm still going. I think if something doesn't happen, I'm going to snap. Knowing me and knowing how long this has been building up, it's going to be a very destructive paroxysm.

The Donnas CD continues to kick ass. I'm desperate for new music. My playlist consists of songs I've heard to death. Sadly, it also consists of songs I hate. Whether I always hated them or stopped liking them over time is anyone's guess. I'm eagerly waiting for Ashlee Simpson's new CD - "Bittersweet World" to come out in March. Although I hear from Amazon that it's coming out February 19th. Hmm..

I'm getting into Cobra Starship. I like their music and their attitude. They don't care what everyone else thinks and they do their own thing. Plus, they love the gay people and in my opinion, that makes for a good band.

FedEx tricked me. They came here today. Not to deliver my AE clothes, but to drop off my brother's old Xbox 360, which he sent in for repairs. While it was gone, he bought an Elite. So now my dad has one. But, anyway. The tracking system at AE.com is WACK. According to it, it's been arriving at different ports at the same time and going in circles. Uhm.. okay? Whatever.. Better be here tomorrow.

Shit. 2:22 already. Night!

I'm going to make an actual update for today..

Well, this morning started on a rather disturbing note. Regarding a nightmare I had, I don't remember the first part anymore, unfortunately. But, in the end of it I was looking out the patio window, and above the trees, in the distance, I saw a huge plume cloud of fire. I freaked out because I thought it was a nuke. My family and I ran outside to see that it was actually my neighbor's house that blew up completely. But, the house was to the left of mine where the church is right now.. It was really scary, and I was thinking about how the other people in the community would feel about it.. especially Richard. I'm not exactly sure why.

The day started off well.. sorta. I felt awful, but I took some medicine and my headache went away. I watched ATWT and then went online and proceeded to fuck around, doing the normal things I usually do..

Then I found out that Heath Ledger died and I was completely floored. I was in utter shock and disbelief, and I still am now. It's another case of one minute they're there, the next they're gone. It's so fucking tragic. I thought it was shocking to find out he split up with Michelle Williams, but this is too unreal. He's just not someone you ever picture dying. Ever. I've been reading about it everywhere. Some people on the Facebook groups and IMDB boards are fucking assholes. They write the dumbest, most heartless shit. People said others had no room to mourn him because they didn't know him personally and that he didn't deserve to be missed/he wasn't a good person because he played a gay man in Brokeback Mountain. FUCK THEM! Fucking seriously, those people can rot in hell. I have no tolerance for that bullshit at all.

Some people just make me sick. On IMDB, they were making a game out of who will die next. Laughing and joking how "funny" it would be if Britney Spears or someone else would die. I mean seriously? Grow up and seek psychiatric help. Call me crazy, but I don't think death is a very humorous subject. Unless it's dealt to some horrible human being who actually wears that title loosely. I fall to pieces whenever death hits relatively close because I HATE IT.

Nevertheless, that news really darkened my day and I'm really sad that he's gone. He had so much ahead of him. I told my mom and she couldn't believe it either. She told me "these things happen in threes," and that it happened to Brad Renfro last week, which I knew already and Suzanne Pleshette died a few days ago.. so I guess that's three.. It still shouldn't have happened. I feel bad for Michelle and their daughter Matilda.

RIP Heath Ledger, you will be missed.

On a lighter note, I did watch American Idol and One Tree Hill later on, which brightened my mood up a bit. OTH is so different now. They don't even have a theme song. My brother burned me a copy of the CD I got him for his birthday. Oh, he loved the card and gift, by the way. The Donnas' "Bitchin'" is really good!

I guess that's all. My dad and brother are stranded at work.. we can't get to them, so.. I guess we'll see what happens. This day blows. Later.