Woven Cognition

yesterday was a major flop. it did not turn out as nice as i had anticipated. it started before i even went to bed. man, was i miserable. i thought that my fucking cold would have been done by yesterday, but think it was possibly the most irritating day yet. it was really hard to breathe and i had to keep blowing my nose every two seconds and my eyes were watering a lot. it took me a long time to fall asleep and i only slept for a couple hours.

the n's been playing some old school nickelodeon shows, which is pretty cool. it makes me feel nostalgic, so i looked up some clips from all that on youtube. this one guy posted a bunch of clips from ask ashley. haha. they're still funny. there were some others, too. the next day, yesterday, i went to go look at them again, and some were deleted. a little later on, they were all deleted and the guy's account was suspended due to him having so many copyright infringed videos. seriously, fuck youtube. copyright infringement my ass. what sense does it make that we can't watch those videos online for free, but we can watch them on tv for free?

little miss obsessive's video was supposed to premiere on trl finally yesterday, but did that happen? nope. i was pissed. whatever. i did get to see this gorgeous man on another show on mtv. holy fuck. i almost died. it's so fucking depressing seeing hot guys you know you'll never have. fuck.

my mom and i argued about me looking for some shit that i had no clue where it was, and she refused to help me. argh. it's no big deal anymore. i looked and couldn't find it. she said it wasn't really that necessary to have, anyway.

i was too bored to play on xbl last night. lately, no one's been on there or no one's been playing halo. it kinda sucks. everyone's playing cod4 or gta4. so, i killed the boredom by watching the unadvertised 24+ hour marathon of zoey 101. i guess they heard my inside joke of the episodes lasting for days at a time. or they were promoting the series finale.

today was much better. my brother gave me this screen recorder, so i can record things from youtube and wherever else. yay! not so much happened today, really. but it is better than being miserable. i watched the series finale of zoey 101. aw. =[ i just started watching it, too. it was good, though.

tomorrow i get my new tv. =] i'm psyched. i gotta clean it up, still. something tells me i'll have more than enough time to do that tomorrow, though. but, i'll still do it tonight, most likely.

mannnnn.. it was real shitty out most of today. then, it was foggy and come dusk, the fog lifted and it was gorgeous outside and it became windy. goddd. i love it. later, folks.

i feel much better today. =]

oh and in case you're wondering, 'cause i know you were, my left shift key broke. i refuse to bother using the right shift key, because i am left shift key oriented. only.

This video makes me sick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6alOnuN-wCY

What the fuck? I found it on a news article on a website. I can't stand the fact that people act this way. It makes me really wish I wasn't gay. I do have pride in my sexuality but honestly, with shit like that happening who doesn't wish they weren't gay? It's one of the major reasons I'm afraid to be out. I feel that I must hide my true self and make up lies all the time. I fucking hate it.

There are people commenting under the article. One person says it's "the norm" for that to happen, and it's "just another day on Xbox Live." Uhm.. yeah, right. The norm? FUCK THAT. THAT SHIT SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING. One person said the guy with the name "asked for it," and that sexuality has no place in online gaming. I'm sorry, but if the dude feels the need to have his screen name reflect his sexuality, then that's his business and his right. The guy mentioned also says that it's "shallow to choose a screen name that represents only one aspect of yourself," I think this guy DOESN'T GET that it's an online gaming community, not a gamertag fashion show. People make gamertags based off of whatever the hell they want. One part of me slightly agrees that by having that name, he asked for it. But he's obviously very proud of who he is and doesn't want to hide it. And he definitely shouldn't feel the need to deny himself the name he wants just because of immature retards online. Also, I read that NOT ALL the insults said in the video are actually meant to be hurtful. Also, they come up with things like, "Well, it's to be expected when you play those games that normally teenagers are playing." or "Usually white men in their 20s are racist and homophobic." Uhm, EXCUSE ME? I'm a white man pretty much in my 20s and I'm not a bigot of any kind. And by the way, when they say shit like that, they're only introducing more stereotypes to the mix and promoting narrow mindedness, thus setting us even further back.

Now, I didn't put this up here to give a bad name to the community I'm now part of. Xbox Live is fantastic! Assholes are EVERYWHERE. Contrary to what many of the commentators on that site believe. By the way, I'm having fun on Live! I'm getting used to it. I'm hesitant to use the mic. Lame, I know. I'm just self conscious. And I'm not much of a talker with people I don't know. And during competitions, I'm either silent or yelling like in idiot either in happiness or anger. Lmao. I can't really carry on a random normal conversation and still concentrate on racing in Burnout Revenge like some of these people can. But I'm still a newbie. I'm still hoping I can improve... A LOT!

As per usual in Topherdom, something from the past catches my eye or I'm inadvertently led down a path which leads me to rediscover a gem from long ago. While I was finding Street Fighter II music on YouTube, I found some music from Tekken 3 from the same dude. MEMORIES!! I got all caught up and tried to find all my favorite music from all the Tekken games! Of course, other songs too. I know for sure that I spend more time gamewise in retrospect. I really need to play more Xbox Live! But damn, I don't have a whole lot of games that can utilize Live! Not many that a whole lot of other people play anymore anyway. Guess I'll have to go shopping when I have the chance!

Full article, by the way.

Think I'll send that guy a friend request! :P